Saturday, May 1, 2010

A Friend Loveth At All Times

My birthday is on Sunday. As I mentioned in a
earlier post, I hate my birthday. I have thought about
that, why would I hate my birthday? I have sweet
friends who love me in spite of me. I have a great
family that love me and show me in a gillion ways
every day how special I am. I have a wonderful
husband who puts up with me in every shape,
way and form. Who even works like crazy for my
hair brained ideas and even puts up with my chicken

Why would I dread it every year? It isn't because
I really don't mind getting older. I read today,
one of the reasons God hated Esau was he despised
his birth right. I don't want to do that. God created me
for a purpose and I want to honor Him for that. To
do the job He has for me.

For the first ten years of my life, I had a perfect childhood.
Perfect. Like you read in a book, well, maybe to much like a
book, in my 10th year, my Mom got cancer. By my 11th birthday,
she was very,very sick. By my 12th birthday, my Dad had remarried.
I had 3 step brothers and my life changed very much.
On my 12th birthday, I was sitting on our porch, I was crying,
because I missed my Mom so very bad. My step mother thought
I was crying because I didn't get something for my birthday.
She sat down beside me and she said. " Kim, the sooner, you learn
the world does not revolve around you the happier you will be."

I don't remember much about that birthday, but I do remember that
statement and every birthday that is what I try to do, I try to
remember the world does not revolve around me. Every year, I just
wish, for once, I could let it revolve around me. But then
I feel so incredibly selfish, that I say, Oh pooh, what a waste of time,
and go about doing what I do in taking care of my family.
So I guess why I don't like my birthday is I see how really selfish
I still am.
So, Happy Saturday.


Kessie said...

Gosh, I'd hate my birthday, too! I'm not real fond of my birthday, because it's not like I get to celebrate it anymore.

*hugs* I hope you have a nice weekend anyway. :-)

Farm Girl said...

We will have to remedy that this year and make your birthday really fun. I don't want you to be sad and not like your birthday, I guess you could say, I don't want you to be like your Mom. :) You guys have a nice day too. We are planting the garden today!!! Yay!! it is a very nice day outside.
I love you.

Janean said...

kim, i don't see it as selfish at all. i see as broken. your tender spirit was broken and no one knew how to help you heal.

would you consider taking the entire month of may and being good to yourself...i mean over-the-top good? my birthday is the 11th. let's both do this!!!! whattya say?

Cindy said...

I have a hard time imagining a woman like you, with a husband, six children, 5 grandchildren and a farm being selfish. It puts a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes to think about those thoughtless, careless words being said to a heart-broken little girl, and especially on her birthday!

Isn't it something how all the love and tenderness from our beloved family can't erase those burning words. I think you have shown great strength by being able to voice your deep hurt. Unjust accusations are hardest to recover from. I wonder how the Lord has used this in your life to shape you into the wonderful mother you are today.

The Lord hand picked the day you were born and I think that is something to be celebrated! I will be praying that the Lord will create and grow a joy in you each year on May 2 and that each passing year will remove those hurtful words. I will pray that you will be able to experience your birthday as the Lord intended you to.

(I love the suggestion of your friend about celebrating all month. With your love of flowers and things that grow, it definitely seems fitting that you were born in May!)

Sue said...

Hi Kim,
First things first, I have already wished you a very Happy Birthday, and now I am going to sing you a very Happy Birthday... here goes....Ummm!!! Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday.... Dear Kim, Happy Birthday to you. Did you hear me singing? lol.
Now second thing.. You have my permission to let tomorrow evolve around you all day without feeling selfish! I want a good report come Monday
I have so enjoyed getting to know you over these past weeks, and am blessed to call you my friend.
Hugs and much love,

Farm Girl said...

I loved the song, it was in tune too.
You made my day, I feel very loved.
You have made my life so sweet, so thankful that when God gives me presents He sent you!!!

Dog Trot Farm said...

A very Happy Birthday to you! I believe one day a year devoted to yourself is not being selfish at all. This is your special day after all, a time to ponder, reflect and be with in the company of the people you love and who love you in return. Enjoy!