Monday, April 29, 2019

Almost May

All of the pictures of sunflowers are the sunflowers of the past. I have none up yet.

 Can you believe its almost May? We had a thunder and lighting storm this morning. Rare for here, and the rain is nice.
That too is rare for here. I am excited for May. Ben and Megan will be home. Emilie and Nik will be home, and Peter is home now. It was a exciting week for me. Ben and Megan will sign papers on the new property in North Carolina this week. Makenzie was voted best photographer in our town. Nik graduated from Seminary. Peter got his second job. I know I am forgetting something. I had a lady sign up for the Bible Study I am leading in May. So all very cool things. I feel in awe of God and that He just is who He is.

Have I ever shared with you my favorite word I learned this year from the Bible?
The word is called Hesed.
It means:" When the person from whom I have a right to expect nothing gives me everything."

Isn't that cool? I feel like in every area and in every place in my life, in spite of what is going on in the world, there are bits of light and my life. It is like a kaleidoscope. My life might look like bits of colored glass with no shape or content, but when God turns the tube in my life, everything come out in beautiful designs. Each one different and each one unique. Why? because He is lovingkindness. It is who He is and what His nature is and He is Hesed.

I always have this question in my mind sometimes, and since I am doing 12 Extrodinary Women by John MacArthur this summer and the first women we will study will be Eve. This question pops up when I am thinking and studying. " Yeah, but would you love God if He didn't do good things in your life? Are you a fair weather believer? So I ponder that all of the time. Would I walk away if bad things happened? Would you? What about those things that are beyond my ability to grasp.

In my mind, my answer is, well, yes I suppose I might walk away, but where would I go, and I am so glad that faith doesn't depend on me. It all belongs to God and because He is Hesed, I can just rest in who He is today. Only today. Not yesterday, not in the future, only today.
One of my favorite prayers is this:

Though the fig tree does not bud and no fruit is on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though the sheep are cut off from the fold and no cattle are in the stalls, yet I will exult in the LORD; I will rejoice in the God of my salvation! GOD the Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like those of a deer; He makes me walk upon the heights! Habakkuk 3:17-19

I share sometimes only in the good things that are going on, I don't like to share the messy underbelly of my life. Its there believe me. In the world we have so much bad news. All the time, that I choose to leave that part out. We all have hard things and things that seem to not make sense. I have learned in this year, that as God has pried my fingers one by one by all that I was clutching so tightly in my hands.This is one I will share.

I have too much stuff. I decided that this year, what I would do in 2019 to do was to do it scared. Everything.
I have done things I never dreamed I could do this year. I have to say I do it scared all the time. I cleaned my shed the week Ron was home. Elliot helped and we got rid of so much stuff. But in my shed I had four school desks. Those desks were the 25 years we did school at home. Those desks represented all I had done. The picture in my mind of the school room and spending my days and weeks and years educating the kids. The good times and bad. Wednesday morning Elliot said, he had a friend and they were going to haul off the desks. Silly I know, but I really thought I was going to have a heart attack.  I couldn't breathe, it was like, my life was officially over. My past life was gone.
So they loaded them up and hauled them away.

While they were gone, I walked out to the shed. I stood and looked at all of the room I now had. I thought about each kid that is now an adult. How each one is going off in a different direction. How proud I am that they are going in the direction God has for them how by giving my life for them for those years in the school room, they are each different and each unique. Not because of desks, but because of the time we had. Because of God and His plan.

Letting go is about moving on and doing it scared. Trying things even if I fail. Getting up every time I
can't see the next step to take. Walking down a path, I have no idea where its going, but I know I am not alone, now or then or ever.

Now if you are still here reading this twaddle. Thank you. May is filled with good things. I am excited every time I do something scared. I am excited for the future. I am thankful for all of the hard things, because in them, I see that God is greater than I can even imagine.
Have a wonderful week, May is almost here,


“The summer,' Randy explained. 'I'm going to appreciate it. I'm going to walk in the woods noticing everything, and ride my bike on all the roads I never explored. I'm going to fill a pillow with ladies' tobacco so I can smell it in January and remember about August. I'm going to dry a big bunch of pennyroyal so I can break pieces off all winter and think of summer. I'm going to look at everything, and smell everything, and listen to everything so I'll never forget --”
― Elizabeth Enright, Then There Were Five

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Early Morning Light

Here I am! Ron took a week off last week, and we worked from sun up to sun down, and sometimes after the sun set. We were barely in the house. We got lots and lots done though and that feels nice. Not that anyone would notice that out by the road, there are no more weeds. We put in those lovely arches. I planted the melons that are going to grow on them and I planted beans and I plan on planting my squash on it.

The garden is coming along nicely. I need to plant flowers so that I can have things growing on the arches and lots more sunflowers. It seems there is never enough time in a day. Now that its in the 90s that stops me from being out there after noon.

The early morning light was so pretty this morning. I just had to capture it. Everything was in this warm golden light. Yesterday, I was sitting resting. I had used my weed trimmer to start trimming the pasture again and I was sitting in the garden and watching everything around me. I saw the most amazing thing. There was a hummingbird, gathering spiderwebs for its nest. He or she would go up to a spiderweb, not flapping its wings and ever so carefully it would start winding the spiderweb up in its beak, and then fly away. It did that all afternoon. I thought it was so amazing to sit and watch. I love that about resting, sitting and watching and getting to observe such sweet gifts around me.

I have all of the parts to the windmill all together now. Gosh its a big windmill. I would love to paint it like this one.

We had a lovely Easter. William and Makenzie came over for brunch. I like cooking brunch the best I think. I could eat breakfast at every meal.

Makenzie has been making cookies. There were more but they were eaten, so I took a picture before they were all gone. She is just so talented.

It was a nice day. Ben and Megan will be home pretty soon. I am so excited I can hardly contain myself. They have so many miles to go though to get here. They are stopping at the Baker Creek Seed company. I was looking though the line up of speakers and I wish I could be there. Such amazing seeds they have. I used Baker Creek Seeds and Renee's Garden Seeds  this year and the quality is top notch.

Makenzie is such a good photographer, I just had to show you our breakfast that she took pictures of on Easter. When I first saw the picture I thought, " That looks pretty, " Then I looked closer and realized that was my table cloth and dishes. We had breakfast outside on the porch and it was just lovely and sweet.

The next batch of things to be planted. Maybe Thursday or Friday. I am trying to get them hardened off before they have to go live in the garden. I have all of this lovely basil to go with my future tomatoes.

This morning I found this and I thought, what a perfect way to start the day. With a fresh egg.
We are under quarantine this year and no chicks for me. New Castle disease I guess is real bad here.
Maybe in the fall I can get chicks. I just have the hens I got two years ago. My roosters are not very roostery. If you know what I mean. Even though I have setting hens, there are no fertilized eggs.

I hope you have a lovely day today. I know my to do list is longer than the day. I want to finish the rest of the pasture with my weed trimmer and get the rest of the garden weeded and wash my car and it goes on and on.
I hope you have a lovely day.
Thank you so much for stopping by today,


"If you become a bird and fly away from me," said his mother, "I will be a tree that you come home to."
---The Runaway Bunny, Margaret Wise Brown, 1942

Sunday, April 7, 2019

An April Morning

I know that I have lived in other Aprils, but this year, this one seems almost magical. Doing the most mundane tasks seem to me as if the air glows. I walked down to the chicken house to let my hens out of their house, and as I walked across the yard, I was so surprised to see the path of diamonds sparkling under my feet. To see the rainbows within each drop of water. Each blade of grass seemed infused with its own glowing golden light. Every where I looked I could feel spring. Does it not seem sad to think it might of been on a morning like this when Jesus died? It makes it hurt in my heart. But then to know just three days later, on a even more beautiful morning, the tomb was empty. Do you ever wonder what if felt like to have God dead? The creator of all things? All things hold together in Him.  I think about things like that sometimes.

I wanted to share with you my little miracle. Well, it is to me. One of the things about living here, is the lack of bees. We have other pollinators, like moths, orchard bees, wasps and even those tiny little iridescent flies and H bees. But not very many honey bees. I had my own hive in the past but they left. Earlier in the year, I really wanted a new hive, but I was past the time when you order them. I prayed that God would send some bees to pollinate.  I wasn't praying for my own, I was just praying for some hungry bees to fly by.

A couple of weeks ago, not one but two swarms flew in. The first one was in my chicken house, which wasn't going to work for us. Thankfully, it didn't work for the bees either so they left. The second is now in the skirting in my shed. Which of course is right next to the garden. This morning I wanted to check the orange trees and yes, so many working bees. I stand out there next to the shed during the day and watch them flying home with all of the little pollen sacks filled with pollen.

Do you know how tiny it makes me feel? It makes me wonder why I don't pray about everything. Why I don't leave all of my cares in the hands of a wonderful Father, who knows me and gives me the desires of my heart. Why I think, I can do it myself or why I try to go my own way instead of His.

Can you see the tiny little orange? Isn't that just amazing? I was thinking this morning, that time began in the garden. In a perfect world God planted a garden and put Adam in the midst of it to tend it and take care of it. When I am in the garden, I am more aware of the seasons, the weather. I am aware that in the garden, the miracle begins with a seed. I remember the first time I held a seed in my hand I was overcome with the magic contained within that tiny bit of miracle. When I am running here and there and life becomes crazy. All I have to do is walk out the back gate, and all of the stress from the day goes away. Just the beauty of the shimmering leaves of the cottonwoods, the wonderful beds of growing things. The blooms on the crab apple. April has been such a wonderful surprise this year. Maybe its because this is the first year, I am not fighting God about something. Giving up what I want, so God can do bigger things than I even know.

I sit and watch this tree with its new green leaves. It must be the best tree on the block. I keep watching knock down fights over nests in that tree. So far I think the Blue Jays have won. The doves though are pretty strong minded and sneak in when the jays leave to get more nesting material. This time of year, there is such drama in the tree tops.

I hope you have a wonderful day today. Thank you so much for stopping by today.


"Of all the wonderful things in the wondeful universe of God, nothing seems to me more surprising than the planting of a seed in the blank earth and the result thereof."
---Celia Thaxter.

Tuesday, April 2, 2019

Now April...Finally!

I love it when the iris starts blooming. I know that spring is officially here. I am afraid I will be kind of boring. I haven't done much except spring cleaning and washing windows and chopping weeds.
I do love it all but it keeps me away from the computer.

I managed though to get His Eye is on the Sparrow, by Beth Twist framed. I don't normally frame the things I make just because I am always shocked at how much it costs. This time I figured I would frame this because for me it is such an accomplishment. I never dreamed I would finish. All told it was 4 years. From the time I started until this last week when I got it framed.

I also finished a rug. I have never used wool strips to bind a rug before. I thought I would try it. It looks pretty but I don't know if I would do it again. I do like the ease of using wool yarn.
It looks very pretty in my dining room.

It was a cloudy day and the colors are brighter. Just a bit. This is a Maggie Bonami pattern.
I just love spring. I am tired today from all of the hula hoeing I did yesterday. But as soon as I step out the door and I can smell the orange blossoms and the fresh spring air. I can hear the mockingbirds and the meadowlarks and I forget how tired and sore I am and I go a bit crazy. I hope that this weekend I will finally get to planting in the ground. Its my plan on Saturday to finally get to spend the whole day in the garden. I have melons coming up in the seed trays under the lights and I would really like to get them growing in the garden outside. I am going to trellis so much stuff this year. I hope melons do good on a trellis.

Here is my driveway that I worked on yesterday. I love it when it looks so clean and really working down that driveway with the smell of orange blossoms is so incredible. The sound of the bees quietly humming as I work around the trees. Yes, I still have the bees in the wall of my shed. It will mean taking off the skirting and the outside wall and we haven't been home long enough to tackle that huge job. 

I would love to be outside today, but I really much get to cleaning my pantry. I have put it off and now its reached critical mass. I hope you have a wonderful day. I hope that April is good to you. I think that is why I got married in April. Its just a beautiful time to be alive. We will celebrate 39 years this month. I can't even believe its been that long. It doesn't feel like it. I feel like my life with Ron just gets more magical and more fulfilling each year. The day we got married he had wrote a song and some of the lyrics went, " we don't know how in love we fell, if we fall for a 100 years we won't know to tell, so lets begin this arm in arm." He was such a sweet songwriter. Now he writes code and he is still a great writer just a different direction.

I wish you all the best today this second day in April.

“Every intoxicating delight of early spring was in the air. The breeze that fanned her cheek was laden with subtle perfume and the crisp, fresh odor of unfolding leaves.”
― Gene Stratton-Porter, The Song of the Cardinal