Monday, May 3, 2010
My Field of Dreams
Here is the field of dreams with things finally planted.
I know that by summer it will look a lot different.
I have planted like I always do, way more tomatoes
and peppers than we can eat, can, cook and give away.
It is okay, I just kinda go crazy and I guess my whole
life has been if it isn't filled all the way to the top, then
it isn't full.
One of my very favorite books that I read over and over,
by Elisabeth Elliot is Keep a Quiet Heart. Maybe because
I would love to have a quiet heart all of the time.
It says this, " Jesus told us to pray. We can be sure that the answer will come,
and it will be good. If it is not exactly what we expected,
chances are we were not asking for quite the right thing.
One of the things I have learned is sometimes I have prayed
and prayed and nothing happens except my prayers are banging
their heads on the ceiling. I admit, I just give up, I also admit,
I get mad at God, I even kick and scream sometimes. Then
like a angry child, He comes in, with a verse like this, " If
you then though you are evil, know how to give good
gifts to your children, how much more will your Father
in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!
Then I think about one of the things I love more than anything
is giving gifts to my children. I love it and would spoil them
terribly if I knew it wasn't good for them. Which, I then decide,
that my motives were wrong and then my prayer will change,
and then I think my will begins to line up to what the Father
originally intended. Then the struggle is over and then and only
then does my heart become quiet.
One of the lessons I learned that I still think about when I am praying
and I think nothing is happening. I remember this, we had just had our 2nd child our
first son, my husband was self employed. Jobs were far and few between.
We were brand new Christians and I had been reading about men like
Hudson Taylor and Spurgeon and they believed God and His promises.
My husband and I decided that we would get up early every morning and
we would meet God and we would tell him every day what we needed.
Every morning we would get on our knees in the living room and we would
tell God about the no money and the no food and the turn off notices coming
in the mail, oh and I forgot our hot water tank had quit working so we had
no hot water and it was January. A new one was 100 dollars and we had 5.00
that was it.
We were not going to tell a living soul, we wanted God to provide. So we watched.
Some of our friends heard about the hot water heater and they had 200 dollars that
month so they bought the hot water heater.
My husband had written a computer program and some people that lived in Tulsa,
Oklahoma had called and wanted to see it in action.
That morning, I had a box of corn meal, a little milk, one egg and a couple
pieces of bread. That was it in the whole house. So I knew I couldn't offer
them lunch. So I prayed, they took my husband out to lunch. He took them
to a company and showed them the program. It didn't work. I still ponder that,
it was working when my husband ran it before they got there and then it didn't work.
They came to our house, I had a 2 week old baby and a 4 year old and they came in the
house talked a bit, then the man looked at my husband and said he wanted
the program. He started counting out 100 dollar bills. 20 of them. All across
our table. We both sat there in a stupor. My husband handed him the floppy
disks, (it was a long time ago.) They got up and left, and we never heard from them.
We of course, cried, laughed, and really praised the Lord, and it became the
turning point in our lives. God became our provider.
It is not something anyone can ever tell you how to trust God, it has to be
walking through the hard times and seeing him do miracles. This one
is special because it was the first. There have been so many more.
So if someone out there is having a hard time, God hasn't changed. He
is still in the business of miracles, He is just waiting for you to ask.