Friday, June 18, 2010
My new chickens had escaped their chicken yard,
the grand children were playing in the water and the
dog was mad at the kids for wanting to take her ball and
for wanting to pour water on her, she went to the far
side of the yard and then the chickens found her.
She was not a happy camper. I tried to get a close
picture but as soon and the little hens saw me they
thought it was snack time.
I can't figure out why they don't see her as a threat.
She could chomp their little heads in one bite, they just
don't have any fear of her.
I had some other thoughts as I was writing this post,
I have felt out of my depth since our kids got married and
of course being a grandmother. Maybe I over think this stuff,
but I was starting to get this feeling that maybe being a "mother,"
is going to last the rest of my life.
I admit, that I thought that when your kids turn 18 and graduate and
then go to college and then get married and have their own families,
I thought, I would enter into Mother Nirvana. Never worry again,
I would have all of the answers and life would just pass on by and me
getting to be skinny, and have great fingernails and great hair and
always look like I know what I am doing. I don't know where I got this
as I know now, silly, silly idea.
But I did.
Then I bought this book this week, it is called, Praying For Your Adult
Children, by Stormie O'Martian. She mentions this in her book and she
says, " 1.You need to Know It Never Ends" She says, " Although there are different stages
and season of parenting responsibilities, your heart and mind will always be with
each one of your children for the rest of your life. And this is no easy task,
for no matter where they go or what they do, a part of you goes with them.
When they"re happy, your're happy. When they suffer, you suffer."
I have thought about this all week.
One summer, my aunt and my grandmother went to visit family in Oklahoma and
while they were there the hot water heater exploded and the whole place was
a inferno. My aunt was trapped in the burning building and one of the other
people was telling my Dad how my grandmother was crying and saying, " save my
baby, save my baby!! They did rescue her but she was in the hospital for a while.
My grandmother never left her side. I was a teenager then and I thought about that
and finally asked my Dad why did my grandmother act that way, my aunt must have been
in her 40s or so. My Dad said, " because no matter how old your kids get,
they will always be your kids."
It is kind of like the day when it dawned on me that you don't ever get to a place where
you have got finished with trials. I thought you did, I think I thought you out grow them.
There is a lady in our family who is 99. She goes through hard trials, and when I finally
realized that you don't outgrow trials it was huge for me.
Then I read this today. To want what we don't have is impatience,
for one thing, and it is to mistrust God. Is He not in complete control
of all circumstances, events, and conditions? If some are beyond His control,
He is not God.
(Keep a Quiet Heart, P. 135)
I have always thought I would get to a place where I would trust God, where my faith
would be such that I could know beyond a shadow of a doubt God was listening.
I would be lying if I said, I was there, because there are days when I think, I have
sinned too much, I have blown it one time to many. I think God is up there looking
at me wringing His hands saying" well what am I going to do with you now."
Then I am reminded in some small way, that I know so little of God's great love
for me. I watched babies today, I see how they trust me and how they just accept
anything I do and they crawl up in my lap and I can feel their little body relax as they
settle down to rest and I know that as love washed over me. God's love is so much
greater than I can even begin to understand.
Because after all, "If God is for us who can be against us?"
Have a Wonderful Friday!