The Field of Dreams

This is pretty much how it looks in the Field of Dreams
right now, all of the trees are in full bloom. I walked by the
almond tree and it was covered in tiny, little green almonds.
I guess there is something out there pollinating.
This morning I made a to do list that was pretty crazy. If the weather had not been so beautiful I might not
have accomplished very much of it but I did make a start.
So as I sit here I am pretty happy but exhausted. I maybe over did it.

I even got my kitchen floor mopped after I got dinner made.
I am having the hardest time with all of the things going on in Japan.
I find that I keep trying to play God instead of letting Him be God.
I want to yell at the heavens and ask why God?

I see the human suffering and the poor people who have lost everything.
I really don't do well with other peoples suffering. When it happens to me,
I think I deserved it anyway. I want God to answer me.

Of course He says, that His thoughts are not my thoughts and His ways are not my
ways. His ways are higher than the heavens.

I searched today and I read and prayed because I want some kind of answer.

I read this, and I have continued to read it all day to myself as a way to give myself
peace. "God does many things which we do not understand. Of course He does---
He is God, perfect in wisdom, love, and power. We are only children, very far from perfect in anything. A true faith must rest solidly on His character and His Word, not on our
particular conceptions of what He ought to do."
(On Asking God Why, p.9)
"Oh, the dpeth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable
his judgments, and paths beyond tracing out!"
(Romans 11:33)


So as I was mopping my floor and I was thinking does it even matter when there are
people who don't have a floor to mop and a roof or even water to drink does it matter
that I am spending my time in such a empty endeavor. It really shows me how shallow
I am I think.
Does it matter that I cleaned my flowerbeds when there are people who don't have a bed or a blanket or maybe their families are all gone and they are alone.

All day these thoughts went around and around in my head. Finally, as I got up off my knees
from mopping the floor, I realized that If I believe like I say I do in God then part of
believing is trusting Him and resting in His perfect judgment and knowing that never
one single time has any of this been out of His control. He is still God.

I am me, and He knows I don't understand and how sad I am and sick inside,
and He tells me over and over, He loves them too and He is still the God of miracles
and I can still trust Him.

Thank you so much for taking time today to read my ramblings. I appreciate
all of you who come by for a visit and I want you to know that I have learned that
life can change is an instant of time. Every day is a gift.

~Kim~