Monday, October 10, 2011

Stuff I Was Thinking About

A year ago I was going through a trial that seemed like it
had gone on forever. A year later, I see how God used it
in my life and I can tell you, I am very, very thankful I am
here now and not where I was a year ago. I bet you thought
I was going to tell you how happy I was, I will tell you the truth.
I wasn't happy about it and I am afraid I bellyached and if I had
waited quietly it might have been over sooner.
But, I wrote this after I had made it through the other side. It ministers
to me. I know that there are so many of my friends in the midst of
much harder trials than anything I have ever encountered.
Today this is for you. I pray for you daily but God's Word is just
that and this is what I sort of learned.
Blessings to you.

Stuff I learned about Trials.

I don't know why I ponder stuff like I do but I do think
about trials and my response to them. I was reading in my
Streams of The Desert and it is one of the selections I love
because it amazes me.

"A bar of steel worth five dollars, when wrought into horseshoes,
is worth ten dollars. If made into needles, it is worth three
hundred and fifty dollars; if into penknife blades, it is worth
Thirty-two thousand dollars, into springs for watches it is worth
two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. What drilling the poor bar must undergo
to be worth this! But the more it is manipulated, the
more it is hammered, and passed through the fire, beaten and
pounded and polished, the greater the value.
May this parable help us to be silent, still, and long-suffering.
Those who suffer most are capable of yielding most; and it is
through pain that God is getting the most out of us, for His glory and the
blessing of others."

Then today, as I was reading in John 11:1-6 It is the part of scripture that
talks about the letter Jesus receives from Mary and Martha. John wants us
to know that it is the Mary who anointed the feet of Jesus and used her hair
to wipe it away. The sisters tell their friend Jesus that the one that he loves is
I have always pondered why Jesus just didn't speak a word and heal Lazarus,
why didn't Jesus rush back and comfort the family. It says, that Jesus tarried
for two days longer, because He wanted God to be glorified and for God's

But today as I was reading it what jumped out at me was the simple phase,
in verse 5 Now Jesus loved Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus.
I kept thinking about it all day, Jesus loved them, John wants us to know
deep in our hearts, that this was love. Not that anyone did anything wrong,
not that someone was out of God's will, not because Jesus couldn't. It was
for the simple reason that they would all see the glory of God.

As I kept pondering the faith it takes to jump from waiting to trusting.
I know that Mary and Martha waited, as their brother got sicker and sicker
and then the moment when he died, I bet they felt unloved and forsaken
and very alone. I bet they doubted everything they had heard Jesus teach.
I bet the were angry too.
I think you see it when Mary remains sitting in the house, but Martha runs
to Him while He is still far off. It has been 4 very long days. I am sure there
are no more tears. I imagine they are exhausted from sorrow.

But still Jesus waits for Martha to reach out from the fiber of all that she believes
to trust Him. I think one of the most profound moments in scripture is when
Jesus says to move the stone, Martha does not want to trust Him, but He reminds
her of what He has just said, " Do you not want to see the glory of God?
Then He calls Lazarus.
Do you ever wonder about that scene, He must have had at least 100 pounds
of spices wrapped in the grave clothes. Was he sad to come back? Did he ever tell
his grand kids about the time he died and what it felt to come back?
Did he tell people what he saw?

I think so often my responses are like Martha's I want my own comfort, before I
want to see the glory of God. I want my life and those I love to have it easy and
trial free. But because God wants me to know that it is for my good and His glory,
He chooses to wait. I must have that place in my life to take that leap into trusting
and doing what He says, I must let Him open that tomb of my life, so I can
have a new life come out into the light of day.

I have been thinking about that and the more I read it over and over, I see
so many ways that Jesus still calls me Martha, Martha when I want my own
way instead of Mary who got the best part.
Just things I was thinking about and thought I would share them with
you. Have a great Tuesday!

Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness, for His wonderful works to the children of men!

(Psalm. 107:6)


Stephanie V said...

Interesting parable...worth thinking about.

Kim said...

Kim, this post speaks to me on a very deep level but you know that. Thank you for this post and your friendship.

camp and cottage living said...

I love the story of the steel bars. However, being human I am not fond of trials. I have, at times, understood why I've had to go through them. And then other times I have to rest in knowing that the Lord had a reason and I simply have to trust him.
Thank you for sharing from your heart, Kim. It's what makes your post so special.

Silver Strands said...

That was so beautifully written Kim. You have a way with words that reaches to the soul. Thanks for this post!

Julia said...

My dear pondering friend. I ponder too but not as thoroughly as you, I'm afraid. But I see myself as a Martha too.

I love the analogy of the steel bar and it increased value as it is hammered and refined some more.

Thanks for this post. Hugs. JB

Debbie said...

I loved this post...I am afraid I have been a Martha my whole life and I soo want to be a Mary. It is always soo hard for me to wait. But there is so much truth in how we would never learn what He needs us to that way. Have a good week!

Simple Home said...

Oh Kim, this post was wonderful. I needed to read this today. It really spoke to my heart. By sharing this you are living the verses of Luke 22:31-32. It tells of Satan demanding to sift Simon like wheat. Christ doesn't say that he told Satan no, but instead that he prayed for him, and told him that when he got through it (my paraphrase) to use what he learned to strengthen his brothers. You're doing just that my friend :)

Sassafras and Winterberry said...

Thank you, as ever, for a meaningful and timely post. I have literally had one month-long tantrum since school started. It's just this weekend, as I finally realized that I was in this new place to do God's work...not mine, that I finally came to a place of peace. You say it all so beautifully. I appreciate that you craft your ponderings into wonderful posts for us to read and savor. I am so grateful to have stumbled upon your blog and your wonderful friendship! Now, I have to get back to posting to my blog and rejoin the community!!

Kessie said...

Trials are lousy, and I still feel so gun shy of going through a repeat. I keep begging God to let me not go through it again.

Yolanda said...

This post spoke to me on many levels . I have missed our visits. I love the pumpkin photo too.

no spring chicken said...

Thank you for sharing Kim. You know I love it when you share like this and I'm thankful that this is what I will be thinking about in bed tonight.

Good night, Debbie

Will and Tracy said...

I've always been a Martha too until this last year. I've always thought of you as a Mary since the first time I learned the difference about them that first time I studied Matthew.