October

October

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Broken Fences


This is my front fence as of yesterday about3:30 in the afternoon.
I had decided that I was going to have a cup of coffee with my
daughter and then I was going to sew until it was time
to cook dinner.
As we are sitting and talking, we hear this huge crash.
We both jumped up and started running for the front door.
The boys who are upstairs got to the door first. My sister-in-law
was out spraying her walks off because my brother was mowing the
lawn.

There was a lady trying to get away and she backed up and took
off. She lives in the neighborhoods near my house. I called the
Highway Patrol because it was a hit and run. They came
but told me that it really wasn't a big deal as no one was hurt.
"After all it was just a fence." I agreed that of course, we can
fix a fence.
It does present all kinds of problems for me though. I have taught my
kids that if you do something like this you admit what you did and take
responsibility. The Policeman by his attitude leaves the message, well,
if you get away fast enough then you are not responsible.

My kids kept saying over and over, you mean she just gets away with it?
I think though what I pondered was, when something happens to me I want
justice. If I had done it, I would want mercy. It has presented me with interesting
things to think about. It was hard to sleep as I feel violated. I don't think
I would have felt like that if the lady had just said she was sorry. Heck, I wouldn't
even make her pay for it. I would have liked to have know she was okay.

When I went to get my camera and walked back outside, there was a man parked
looking at the fence. When he saw me he took off real fast and turned his head so
I couldn't see his face.
I was thinking and maybe I am wrong but I have a conscience that never shuts up.
I know that if it were me, the torture would be more than I could bear. So while
I got up this morning with this broken fence out in front, the fence can be fixed.
(Though my kids were groaning about all of the work they know they will be doing.)
To me, I think living everyday driving by, would be much harder than stopping and
saying sorry. I am so glad I am not her.

I know that God will teach me lots about this, one is knowing as I have seen
Him so often in the past, He will turn it around for my good and His glory.
Even a broken fence.

~Kim~

22 comments:

  1. Maybe the person who smashed your fence was high on drugs or she could have been drinking. Next time it could be a person walking that she hits. Highway Patrol should have followed up.
    JMHO.
    And yes, I'm with you about people needing to do the right thing.

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  2. We had a similar thing happen a few years ago. Our brick mail box was hit by one of the landscape guys in the area, and I had gone for a quick trip to the store. When I got back, the whole thing was on the ground. I knew I had seen his truck and it pretty much had to be them, but when I called, they all said 'nope... not us'! There was nothing left to do but have it rebuilt, by us. I would love to think I felt more gracious about it, but I knew someone was denying it and we were left with the mess and the bill. After reading your story, I'm pretty sure that I didn't learn much from the mailbox episode... hmmmm, still pondering...

    How funny... the word verification is VENCES! :)

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  3. Gosh I still can't believe she did that. And she really nailed it too. I remember one time I dented a car in the BC parking lot. I was so mortified and wanted to run, but left a note saying what happened, with my number. I guess it's just the difference in the way we were taught - to own up to your mistakes. Let me know if you need help rebuilding!

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  4. I can't believe her or the police! Since when is causing property damage not a crime?

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  5. I agree with WonkyGirl.... it may not be 'just a fence' next time.

    But it did, and does, pose interesting questions for you and the kids: of mercy, forgiveness, owning up, conscience, and... just accepting things not to be the way they ought to be sometimes.

    You're right to be glad you're you, and not her. Poor woman.

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  6. The policeman drives me the most crazy....WHY would no one be responsible? And NO- it isn't just a fence...it's the respect issue and right and wrong issue.
    Sorry...you hit me on a rant day:)
    I wish I had your grace.....

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  7. I'm sorry about your fence but like you said it can be fixed although it's very annoying.
    I'm just wondering what goes on inside this lady's head that she panicked and sped away. Is she going through some sort of mid-life crisis, lost her nerves, got frightened, reacted that way because of some upbringing that always punished wrong doing?? I know that the right thing for us is to fest up to our mistakes but for some people it's harder.

    Give her a few days or longer and she may find her courage and come clean but don't hold your breath. Just say an extra prayer for her today. I'll even say one too.

    I love that beautiful fence. God bless. JB

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  8. That is terrible. I happy to hear that no one was hurt. But the rest of it really ticks me off. The police officer's attitude - disgraceful. The driver - disgusting. Sadly, respect and common decency are becoming extinct.

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  9. She should have to pay for it. It's that simple. However, for you to go after her in civil court might take some money(ie-lawyer). You could contact her and tell her that you would like her to pay for the damage she did. Then if she refuses, you should call the police officer and make sure he took a report, then tell him you wish to press charges. He will tell you how.At least that's how it goes here! You also have the option of calling the police officer's superior.Seems to me he was avoiding some work, but I was never a cop in your state. None of these things make for warm and fuzzy feelings with the lady or the cop, but you have certain rights. Here, it is considered a "Property Damage Accident." That could have been a kid on a bicycle, not a fence. I just wanted to give you some options from someone who did that kind of work once. We would have filed a report and let you know that you could go to the court commissioner to press charges. They must do police work differently now/ there. ???? The world is a different place. I'm an antique!!! :(

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  10. SO pathetic that she didn't take responsibility (and maybe even sent a family member back to look at the damages!)

    We've had 2 of these incidences here at Run*A*Round. The first one, an SUV full of kids ran thru the stop sign across from our property and sailed thru our pole fence. Someone called the cops and the kids hightailed it (we later found all their beer bottles thrown out into our pasture). The cops wrote it up and towed the vehicle but we fixed our own fence.

    The 2nd incident, a kid was driving too fast and had to swerve to avoid rear-ending our neighbor - right into our corner post and fence. They left a note in the mailbox (as did our neighbor), I called them, they came down to apologize. And the father of the kid came down that weekend and fixed the fence with new poles, welding, screening AND a new mailbox since the kid had bent the post. So there are definitely some decent folks in the world. I'm sorry you got one that wasn't...

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  11. My goodness Kim, I can see why it would upset you! I'm upset!! I cannot understand how some people live with themselves. I think she should have to pay for the damage to your fence.
    I am also contemplating the attitude of the police officer, I think he needs an attitude check, or maybe another job.
    I am going to pray that God will touch her heart and that she will make this right, especially if she has to drive by often.
    Hugs to you today dear friend.
    Sue

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  12. well, I am sorry! what a terrible chore for your kids.
    maybe it will make a profound impression on them
    to own up to their mistakes to keep someone else
    from having to clean up their messes.

    i have been on the other end of this. someone
    accused one of us of scraping her bumper. everyone
    denied it (i checked each and every bumper for clues)
    but it felt bad to be accused.

    sorry about your pretty fence.

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  13. So sorry...I never pass a fence I don't think of you..so sorry.

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  14. What a disgrace! My husband is a policeman and both my boys are in college and majoring in criminal justice. Around my next of the woods you are sited for leaving a scene were damage to property was involved. Quite serious charges. I would talk to the Chief of police. It must have been the change of shifts and this poor excuse of a policeman just wanted to go home. Again disgraceful behavior on both of their parts. You deserve justice and If I were you I couldn't let this go. Sorry about my rant I just hate that this happened to you and there seems to be no recourse.

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  15. KIm,
    I believe you were right and the lady was wrong as was the police officer when something like this happens you should take responsibligy for your actions. I am so glad to call you friend and that you are always so supportive of me.

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  16. WOW...I honestly can't believe the police officer. How in the world is this not a crime? If this woman runs from this she might just as well run from something more serious as well. I am afraid I would be tempted to go over his head. If you KNOW who the woman was I would also be tempted to go to her and say, "I first of all wanted to make sure you were alright, and figured you would probably want to know what this cost to repair." I am constantly amazed at the lack of responsibility people show in these kind of situations. So sorry this happened.

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  17. So sorry about your fence. I know you were disappointed that her actions were so irresponsible and thoughtless. It seems she was not raised as well as you or your children. I am praying that God will show you the "pearl" in this situation and that it will also be a powerful lesson to your children.

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  18. Well, if nothing else, it provided me and Ryan something to rant about for 20 minutes during our walk today. :-p Spouse communication! Good thing to come out of a smashed fence! :-)

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  19. I can't believe that the police would not follow up. Even if there is not personal injury, they should follow up because of the property damage.

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  20. OH NO--this just aggravates me to no end. The nerve of the policeman. Wonder what he would think if it was his car or his yard or house? We have a culture of NO accountability. Nobody is responsible for anything. I am so sorry and I only hope your instincts are right and that it will bother her. I think some folks get by with thinking, “oh well, they can afford to fix it.” I’m so sorry friend :(

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  21. Oh My shame, shame, shame on her! I just can't believe the officer just said oh well! ~Cheers Kim

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  22. I am sorry for your mis fortune, I think you will be repaid back in someway! I am sure the angles above will make sure of that. HUGS MARY

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