Wednesday Thoughts

Adjusting to the new normal has been different in so many ways. Learning to be by myself again has been a challenge. Learning to be quiet and wait and not be so busy after being busy for so long is a different kind of place for me. Running ahead of God is my favorite place to live. Never mind all of the times I have to go back and undo some of the things I thought I wanted. When I first started blogging it was a new world. I found that what I wanted most in life was that button in my side bar that announced that I was a 10 minute rug hooker.

Rug hooking was a dream that I had long cherished. I had a rug hook and a pattern. What I wanted more than anything in the world was a wool cutter. I got the bright idea that I would save money and buy one. I remember the day I finally got enough money to buy one. As things happen, we needed the money for something else. Something more important. I cried all of the way to the bank and then I cried all the way home. Running ahead of God never turns out for the best. One morning I was walking listening to a pod cast and the man was reading through Hosea. If you aren't familiar with it, it is about a man who is told to marry a prostitute as a illustration of how unfaithful the nation of Israel was to the Lord.

As I was walking and the man was reading Hosea 2: 5-7 and all of  a sudden I realized this passage speaks of me. "Gomer was a harlot because she wanted more than what her husband had and was not content with her portion. She was not content in being a wife. So she got a job. The job that she saw provided her luxuries. She went after her lovers who provided her bread and her water and her wool and her flax and her oil and drink."

I stopped in my tracks and walked in the house. I got my Bible and looked it up and what I have found is that no one will know what is in my sneaky little mind, but God always does and calls me on the carpet.
At that time I wanted a wool cutter that bad. God in His Mercy told me no to what I wanted and as I knew in the deepest part of my soul, I could very easy forsake all I cared about, just like Gomer, for wool.

I gave that up and decided that I would wait for God and if He never wanted me to hook a rug again I wouldn't. I boxed up that dream and put it away. I went on with life. Then as you know a wonderful friend,
in God's time gave me more wool than I had ever seen, backing to make rugs a wool cutter and things to get  me started. I sat on the ground as I opened the box and wept over that wool, every time I use my cutter I am reminded of how good God is and why it is so much better to wait on Him.

I realized yesterday, that I am back to being Gomer again. Wanting to run ahead and not wait. Playing games and wanting to do my own thing. Instead of waiting for God I am trying to run ahead. You would think I would learn after all of these years. I need to be content with the place that I am and let God open doors instead of me trying to use a crowbar to jimmy the door frame.

" The willingness to be and to have just what God wants us to be and to have, nothing more, nothing less, would set our hearts at rest, and we would discover that the simpler the life the greater the peace."
( The Shaping of the Christian Family, p. 89)

I have time to think and when I was in a frenzied pace it was easy to ignore what weeds were cropping in my life. Now, I have to be pulling up the wrong thinking I have been doing in my life by the roots. Someday, I will learn.

Have a great Wednesday. Thank you for stopping by today.

~Kim~