Wednesday, October 10, 2012

A Grateful Thank You

I just wanted to say thank you so much for all of your kind comments. You made my heart sing again. The truth of the matter is that what I have found in being a blogger, is that I receive far more than I ever give. You all touched my tired heart and lifted the burden that I felt I have been under. My husband brought it to my attention that when I can't make people happy, I fall apart, when I can't fix everyone's problems. I love making people happy and when I can't I guess I do. I think that when my Mom got sick when I was a little girl, and I thought if a I was good, or if I tried harder or worked harder I could have made her well.

 I try to do that still and when there are problems and I think I can fix if I try harder, run faster and jump higher. You know, and then, I have to realize I am not God and sometimes God just says "No," I have to give up and I don't really like giving up. Yesterday, I hit that wall. But today is a new day. The light was beautiful this morning. The air was cool and fresh. Only I can change me so I decided to view life this morning from my camera. It makes me so happy to find beauty from the lens of my camera.

The light finally changed. I haven't taken pictures all summer because the light was harsh and too bright. Now, it has changed to a mellow gold color. It makes all of the world around me filled with a warm glow.

This is feverfew. We planted  a whole bunch because I love it so much. When my husband and I were going to get married and I must have planted hundreds of flats of flowers in my Mom and Dad's yard I planted hundreds of these flowers. For years and years my Mom's flowerbeds were filled with these flowers. When we were planting them this summer, it made me remember planting them so long ago. A long time that passed in a breath that catches in my throat.

I was trying to catch the morning light. I guess it is illusive like trying to catch a rainbow. I love how the sunshine comes through the leaves, bringing some things into focus and other things remain just out of my vision.

It is hard to say, if I moved away from here, if I would miss the house more with it's porches. Or this tree.
This tree has been in my life since we move here when I was four years old. I built a fort under it, my kids climbed it and now my grand kids swing on it. I hope to get a photo of my daughter in her wedding dress in it.
Life may change faster than I am able to move. Life may have hard spots. But always there is the lovely moment filled with dreams and promises and like this flower, it may look tired and worn out, but there is always the promise of spring in the seeds that it has produced. I am thankful for today, for the comfort of friends and for joy that comes in the simple things, like the lens of a camera.

Have a lovely Wednesday, Oh, and thank you for being my friends.


TexWisGirl said...

dear kim, you do not realize how much you give us here. the beauty you share, your gratitude and love, your soft and open heart, your seeing eyes. :) said...

The seasons of life... change is inevitable isn't it? Sometimes we need to regroup and take a deep breath. You will, and just like your photos... things come back into focus.

myletterstoemily said...

i'm glad you're feeling a little better. we do try to
make everybody feel better, even when it's not our
job. i pray that burden is lifted from you.

you are so right about the light. every october, i
whip my camera out to try and catch it. i guess
when the sun starts to settle into the southern
hemisphere, it goldens up our light.

such a scientific description!

Thistle Cove Farm said...

feverfew is fabulous for headaches, especially migraines!
love your photos; don't try and de-throne God 'cause I'm happy with Him on the throne -smile-

Alica said...

I'm so glad that your today is looking brighter! :) It's you that encourages me so often!!

moosecraft said...

Wow! What beautiful pictures! Love the soft glow of the Autumn sun! Have a Happy Day!

Debbie said...

Glad you are feeling better today..the pictures are gorgeous. What kind of camera do you have? Have a wonderful day.. : )

camp and cottage living said...

It is so...hard to let go and leave the fixing to God, especially with someone like you who has such a big and kind heart. And you are a mother, after all.
I'm glad your feeling brighter and your beautiful flowers are a reflection of that, I hope.
Take care and know you are in my thoughts and prayers-Kimberly

Beth said...

Thank you for being a friend to all of the blogging family!

Meg said...

I'm glad you have so many friends to give you encouragement. I know you sure could use some! :) Your feverfew is so pretty. I really need to get my herb garden going.

Julia said...

Kim, I'm so glad that you are feeling better today. I too am a bit like you and want to fix everyone problems, so I understand.

I'm glad that you posted today and took some nice sunny flower pictures. Yellow is so cheery. I just finished replanting my flower bed with those yellow evening primrose or sun drop flowers just because they gladden my heart on somber days. I'll post some photos on my blog.

Hope that the rest of your day will feel lighter for you.
Big Hugs, JB

Kathy ... aka Nana said...

My dear, you are such an artist with words. And I am so blessed to be able to call you my friend. I would love to meet you face to face ... If not here on this earth, then in heaven for sure.

Christine said...

I'm so sorry I missed yesterday's post but I want to thank you for your prayers - I know God has heard and I feel the blessing and comfort. I surely pray too for you and yours and if you feel the need for a blog break just know that you'll be in our thoughts.
But at the same time I so enjoy your posts and pics.

Kessie said...

You know, you're right about not being happy unless I can fix problems. I'm in a problem I can't fix and it gets me down. I'm glad Dad pointed that out to you. Once I can name the problem, I can articulate it and move past it. Blog therapy!

Also I ate too much sugar yesterday. That gets me depressed, too.

Primitive Stars said...

Hello, always such a dear, blogging friendships are so wonderful. You are to hard on yourself, glad to hear your feeling better. Blessings Francine.

Dog Trot Farm said...

Kim, I must be honest with you I don't know what I would do without reading your daily blog posts. I know I am a people pleaser, peace maker, caregiver, that's what makes me, me. I know I am being selfish when I say please don't go away...I am sending you wishes for inner peace...Your friend from Maine, Julie.

Nellie said...

Kim, you have captured some lovely scenes with your camera today! I loved seeing them.

I hope things are looking better for you.

Sending hugs. Nellie said...

So glad it is a new day and his mercy and grace have embraced you!! The view from your porch would warm anyone's heart! So glad you released it and allowed God to enter into those places that only He can control...which is what I am sharing also in my next post!

Gumbo Lily said...

The withered flower reminds us that there was a beautiful life and the seeds are promise of tomorrow. God's peace.

Paula said...

Kim - your heart is so big and loving, but God's is infinite - give it over to Him, and rest.

Love to you - I am praying for a peaceful heart for you and for all who want to help others!

annie said...

A day late..,,, but you know there are many who get joy just from hearing from you. The fix may be to just be your own sweet self, and share the real you, that is surely enough. hugs, love your photos!

Empty Nester said...

Our number 2 daughter is just like you. She wants everyone to be happy and, if they aren't, she wants to make them that way. She is the fixer of everyone's problems too. Love the beautiful photos. And I think you did a great job catching the morning sun. But I know what you mean. When I see the sunrise and then take the picture---well, the picture just doesn't do it justice.