Sunday, May 22, 2011

Joy In This Life

One of the things I love is the feeling of joy. Joy is not
the same as being happy. Happy is because of happenings.
Joy is what comes after the storm, joy is like the tiny light in a
dark room. Joy comes when we least expect it. As C.S. Lewis
has the title on one of his books he was " Surprised by Joy."

I read today, " If we were never afraid, how could we know God
as a refuge and fortress? It is our very weakness that gives
us occasion to call on Him."

You know how sometimes life is so hard and it seems you are walking in a dark, dark forest
and you just keep walking
because you know you have too and you can't stop. Then, all of
a sudden as you emerge from the darkness of the trees, you find
a meadow, filled with sunshine, flowers growing in the midst of the
green and the birds are fluttering down to the meadow grass and the
deer are grazing, they turn and look at you but continue on as if you weren't there and as you stand there you feel the warmth on your cheek,
and the sun feels so warm. As you turn to look behind you you see the path
that you have traveled and you see the gloom, but you know the way
to get home is to go forward and not back?

Yesterday as I was working in the yard and cleaning outside," I told my husband,
I just wanted to so badly to get back to who I used to be."
As he chopped weeds and was quiet for a bit he looked up and said, " You can never
go back to who you were, you can only go forward to something new."

As I thought about that as I chopped weeds, and thought it over in my head, I knew
it to be true. Looking back is a waste of time. Going forward is how we conquer new lands
new places and become new people and learn to try new things and even, yes,
come to a place where there is sunshine and joy.
To accept the place that I am and yes, trust God to be God and to work things
out for good.

I hold onto the past to tightly, I want to open my hands and embrace the future.
God chose this week to do huge things for my family. Things I have prayed and prayed
and begged and cried and pleaded for years it seems.

So I gave up, I mean I really gave up. On Friday, I told God Iwas about to break and
I would just give up and I would just accept what I saw as my fate. Friday afternoon,
He parted the Red Sea. I sat and sobbed and felt so ashamed at my lack of faith.

Sometimes I feel like life is tiny steps for me mostly backward. Then God does
something I can't explain and it is so big and I do look back and I see that He did
know what He was doing and I of course, being in the trees couldn't see the wonderful
meadow up ahead.

Today, I am thankful I am in a meadow and hopefully next time I am wandering
around in the gloom, I might have the faith to trust and not be afraid.

"God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble."
Psalm 46:1

I hope your day is filled with joy.



Kessie said...

I feel the same way. I keep having tornado dreams where the tornado just goes on by, because my subconscious can't grasp that the trial is over. So many of my worries are gone and it's amazing.

My next goal: strawberry jam! Probably next weekend. :-)

Rachel @ Finding Joy said...

A very beautiful description of joy.

I was blessed reading it. :)

TexWisGirl said...

sweetpea, i hope the sunshiny meadow lasts a long, long time.

Sue said...

I seem to be at a loss for words to respond to your post Kim, except I know exactly what you are talking about..., as alway I leave so blessed and inspired.
Much love,

Larkrise garden girl said...

Hi Kim, I needed that thank you sometimes in the middle of the storm it drags on.There seems to be one storm after another and you can't even find an umbrella. Hugs Cheri

Sassafras and Winterberry said...

Thank you so much for this post today. I am feeling very much in the woods over all the life changes I'm having. The fear of the unknown can be so paralyzing that it is hard to see the "grace"-ful things that God has given to us. Only when one really has to trust, and as you described, surrender to His will for us, do we finally know peace. This post has helped me out of a bad funk today!
Bless you,

Jacque. said...

Wow. I don't even know what to say to this. Except, you are such a woman of may falter, but you always move forward. He is always there for you.

Jill from Killeny Glen said...

What a wonderful and insightful post. I am so glad I stopped by TONIGHT to read it.

Debbie said...

this was a beautiful entry, i felt a certain type of joy reading it.

i don't know the path you have traveled, but i wish you strength and joy.

"you never know how strong you are, till being strong is the only choice'. big hugs!!!

Kim said...

I know what you say is true. If we were never in the dark forest, how would we appreciate the meadow? Your posts and insights on like bring joy to many friends.
I hope you meander through the meadow for a long time, and time in the forest is brief.

Julia said...

Kim, you remind me of a willow. You bend with the storm but you never break. You are strong and beautiful. I love your post this evening. It's full of great wisdom.

Life is full of trials but also full of God's grace.

Have a blessed week. JB

no spring chicken said...

Wow Kim. What a testimony! The past is so comfortable. We understand it. We trust it because it no longer holds uncertainty. But the future...

I know that I trust God and yet sometimes I too hold so tightly. I have a young friend who is in a 'valley' right now. I'm trying to remind her what it feels like to be on the hilltop (as she has done for me in the past). It's our memory of hilltop experiences (your meadow) that remind us what God can do.

Couple that with the unspeakable joy that only comes from the Hoy Spirit and we have a picture of a God who deserves our faith.

I've often said that I am on a roller coaster. From hilltop to valley to hilltop... At least I trust the one at the controls and I have my 'sisters' riding with me!

Blessings, Debbie said...

Kim...this is just too close to home this morning and the tears are flowing too have spoken my heart in so many ways. Wow, how each of us can be on the same path of what God is teaching us, even if the circumstances are different.
Thanks for sharing...I think this was for me!