Joy In This Life

One of the things I love is the feeling of joy. Joy is not
the same as being happy. Happy is because of happenings.
Joy is what comes after the storm, joy is like the tiny light in a
dark room. Joy comes when we least expect it. As C.S. Lewis
has the title on one of his books he was " Surprised by Joy."

I read today, " If we were never afraid, how could we know God
as a refuge and fortress? It is our very weakness that gives
us occasion to call on Him."

You know how sometimes life is so hard and it seems you are walking in a dark, dark forest
and you just keep walking
because you know you have too and you can't stop. Then, all of
a sudden as you emerge from the darkness of the trees, you find
a meadow, filled with sunshine, flowers growing in the midst of the
green and the birds are fluttering down to the meadow grass and the
deer are grazing, they turn and look at you but continue on as if you weren't there and as you stand there you feel the warmth on your cheek,
and the sun feels so warm. As you turn to look behind you you see the path
that you have traveled and you see the gloom, but you know the way
to get home is to go forward and not back?


Yesterday as I was working in the yard and cleaning outside," I told my husband,
I just wanted to so badly to get back to who I used to be."
As he chopped weeds and was quiet for a bit he looked up and said, " You can never
go back to who you were, you can only go forward to something new."

As I thought about that as I chopped weeds, and thought it over in my head, I knew
it to be true. Looking back is a waste of time. Going forward is how we conquer new lands
new places and become new people and learn to try new things and even, yes,
come to a place where there is sunshine and joy.
To accept the place that I am and yes, trust God to be God and to work things
out for good.

I hold onto the past to tightly, I want to open my hands and embrace the future.
God chose this week to do huge things for my family. Things I have prayed and prayed
and begged and cried and pleaded for years it seems.

So I gave up, I mean I really gave up. On Friday, I told God Iwas about to break and
I would just give up and I would just accept what I saw as my fate. Friday afternoon,
He parted the Red Sea. I sat and sobbed and felt so ashamed at my lack of faith.


Sometimes I feel like life is tiny steps for me mostly backward. Then God does
something I can't explain and it is so big and I do look back and I see that He did
know what He was doing and I of course, being in the trees couldn't see the wonderful
meadow up ahead.

Today, I am thankful I am in a meadow and hopefully next time I am wandering
around in the gloom, I might have the faith to trust and not be afraid.

"God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble."
Psalm 46:1

I hope your day is filled with joy.

~Kim~