November

November

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Wednesday Words

We have a supposedly cooler day today. Maybe even some rain tomorrow. Not counting on it as rain seems to always pass us by, do you remember in the old show Get Smart and the cone of silence? That is what is always over us and storms just go around us. There is a fancy word for it but I just can't remember it.

One of the words I have always wanted to embrace about life is to be content. No matter the place I find myself, I have always wanted to be content. I am not though. I also find myself not seeing the beauty all around me nor the little things that bring joy. I did something that I was curious about, I went back to a year ago in my journal and looked at life in 2012. No wonder I feel like I have been through a war. I only tell you little bits of the trials that go on and sometimes I think I blab too much. I was shocked at how many trials we were going through at the same time last year at this time.

Now though, being on this side of them. What I can tell you is that God never failed. I did all of the time, I fell down, I didn't want to get up again and I really over and over did not think I could make it one more day.
What I see now though was when God allowed the worst things I could have ever thought to happen to us, I can see how loving and kind God was now. When I felt like He only said, " Will you trust me," over and over, and I cried and said, " NO I Don't Trust You. I want you Lord to go away." He didn't, He has always promised, " To never leave me nor forsake me." He didn't.
 I knew I was being a baby, but I was so angry at God, I could feel my heart growing hard. That was more scary to me than the trial.

I think that is what I think I love about believing in a God who doesn't change nor does He lie. No matter how mad I was I could pick up His word and He would give me words of comfort and strength and even though I didn't understand why and maybe not even now but I do know that my faith in an Unseen God is stronger than it would have been if I had not been wounded because what needed to come out was junk that needed to be dealt with and handled.

I told you that last year, my word was relinquishment. I gave up what He asked of me even though I know in a spiritual sense He had to break my hot little hands for me to give it back to Him. This year, the word is Surrender. Again, I don't want my word for the coming year to be surrender but in order for me to surrender I had to relinquish what I did love more that God. I see that now.

  I have lived on a July schedule for so long with the kids and school I find that I still do and it is easier for me to plan my year that way. So as I surrender this year. I am thankful that going through trials as I learned last year didn't make me love God more, but it did make me have a more solid kind of faith. I learned that trusting sometimes is harder than believing. Walking by faith and not sight sometimes tests every single thing I have ever believed and I am I can say, I am  thankful that God knew me and I knew Him that when I came out on the other side, we would still be friends.

Thank you, I know this is a long kind of post. Without your kind words and friendship, sometimes your words were such a lifeline. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

~Kim~

12 comments:

  1. I remember a few trials, but I always remember them in singles and not all packed together like they really are. I feel like I have no problems right now, compared to the crap I've gone through for the past several years. Having a cold is nothing at all.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nothing says summer quite like a sunflower :)
    Beautiful post, Connie

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sunflowers are one of my favorites...and yours are so lovely! My daddy once planted me an entire field of sunflowers, then took a picture and sent it to me...I was stationed overseas for three years, and he wanted me to have a little piece of home with me!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Kim, love the pictures of Sunflowers, just make me smile, so cheerful.....Blessings Francine.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Is your word for the coming year possibly *contentment*?
    Thank you for a good testimony.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh Kim you have hit on some REALLY good thoughts here. And hard lessons for us all. But with such hope. No matter how hard our trials, (and though I am sure it seems as if I am ALWAYS spilling my guts and telling everything that goes on around here, TRUST me I am not...they are just a few...VERY hard last few years) God is just ALWAYS faithful! ALWAYS! No matter how hard I fall or turn my head or heart He stays the same and right there. It all comes down to His indescribable love for us. Hard to wrap my head around it sometimes. I am going to add a link here to one of the messages my son gave that just spoke to me so. If you get the time and are so inclined, give it a lesson. Blessings to you today! I am not sure if this will work, but hopefully it will. ; ) Probably just copy and paste this in your finder.

    http://vimeo.com/69585651?fb_action_ids=5001312359859&fb_action_types=og_vimeo%3Aupload&fb_ref=og_api&fb_source=timeline_og&action_object_map=%7B%225001312359859%22%3A146546098872745%7D&action_type_map=%7B%225001312359859%22%3A%22og_vimeo%3Aupload%22%7D&action_ref_map=%7B%225001312359859%22%3A%22og_api%22%7D

    ReplyDelete
  7. You and I are on the same wave length about going back and reading our journals of earlier years. Only I started reading my journal of 1999 and 2000, when I first started writing down my spiritual awakening and how I discovered how much God loves me no matter what. That was a true awakening experience of how real God's love is for (me) us no matter what.

    I've been wanting to write a book about my daily journey into discovering who I am and where God fits into my life but I've put that on the back burner. I say to myself, does the world really need another book.

    For a long time I've been wanting to make a post about it but so much is happening around me that there seem to never be enough time.
    I've been reading my journals at bed time this past week and it keeps me awake, lol.

    One of the thing that I have discovered is that sometime I could feel God's presence in the tiniest things or the simplest things.
    My life has been a journey and with many ups and down and some real low points and but realizing that he really loves me has helped me through.

    Write your feelings down. Say what is in your heart and later go back and learn from it.


    Big hugs,
    JB

    ReplyDelete
  8. Lot's of deep thinking Kim!! I just love your sunflowers, summer at its finest!! They sure did make me smile!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. i try not to go back. guess i'm too busy worrying about 'forward'. :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. It's so funny how once you are through the trials you don't really think about them again unless you really look back. Or they seem so much farther away than they were. I definitely have a hard time letting go of things too.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Lots of deep thinking there ... food for thought, dear one. I should start journaling ... it's easy to forget the trials (and the lessons learned from those trials) once we're on the other side.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I have tried to journal...just not disciplined enough to do it! So, good for you!! Thanks for these thoughts....encouraging and comforting!

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for visiting my blog.
Think of this as coming onto my porch and having
a visit.