Tuesday, January 19, 2021

Finding Joy in All Things

We have a storm coming this morning, I went outside to watch as it approaches. This storm is coming from the east. You can smell the desert. There is something magical about the desert, just as there is about the ocean. Of course, a east wind will end up bringing dust with it, but as of now, its wonderful to smell the fresh clean air. I am not a big fan of palm trees, but I do love the sound they make in a storm. They are mesmerizing to watch as the wind tosses them to and fro. 

I  thought I would share something today. Something I have been thinking about. When my Mom got sick I was eleven. She wanted us to have as much normal as possible, so she didn't take any pain medication and worked at being normal. I walked in one morning when she was trying to make her bed and she had to sit down and I could see her heartbeat in her neck. I told her I would make her bed from now on and to not worry about it. She got sicker and sicker and I just kept praying that God would heal her and she would get well. She didn't. On September 11, 1969 she went home to the Lord. 

No matter how hard I try and how many times I have written about it, there is just no words I felt for the devastation I felt. The complete and utter loss. People trying to be kind said the cruelest things. One of them was God doesn't make mistakes. That got on my mind and what began as just a thoughtless remark would engulf my life. You see, God had taken the one and perfect thing in my life and left me with my Dad. My Dad was poles opposite from my Mom. Like getting Joe and Kamala for President and Vice President. The worst thing you can imagine. The absolute worst thing in the world. 

  Stay with me here, this isn't a political discussion. Loosing my Mom was the worst thing to ever happen to me at that point. But the next most horrible thing was the day my Dad remarried. February 14th 1970. Five months. Going from a Mother who loved me to a Step-Mother who reminded me of my faults and my failures. I went from being a sweet girl to an evil one. 

What I want to be the take away from this is, without that loss, the pain, the stripping away my self love and pride. I would not be who I am today. The brokenness, the black fibers that make up the outlines of  the picture that is me, I wouldn't be able to see the colors that daily flood my life. The joy that comes is illumined so much more clearly because of the dark. 

 I didn't give up then. I won't give up now. I do think we are in for surprises and things that may shock and scare us. I think though that finding joy each day, in the unexpected is still the best. 
" Lord, be our Sun and Shield, Shine on us, protect us as we seek to live and witness to your truth. Forgive us for our fears of petty loss. Remind us that it is in losing ourselves that we find You." From A Lamp for My Feet, p. 56


That is why, through the experiences in my life I can say with confidence. 

The best is yet to be. 



TheCrankyCrow said...

Congratulations my friend...you have succeeded in accomplishing a rare feat....you have left me at a complete loss for words at how perfect this post - your words, thoughts and, yes even your beautiful photos - have touched a resonant cord within me and are bouncing off all the hollow places inside me. Our "black lines" and losses may be very different, but the preciseness of the "whats" and "hows" really aren't the point as we both know....now. Can't say how much I love this. And, yes, a storm is coming....and the cleansed air will be glorious to breath in. ~Robin~

Kessie said...

I saw someone saying that there is something extremely dark and oppressive hanging over Seattle, and to pray like you've never prayed before, because something is happening tomorrow. I don't know what the future holds, but I did just order new curriculum, so life goes on. :)

Julia said...

What a poignant post. It is so sad when young children grow up without their loving mother. Of course, you are right. We do suffer for a reason and if it doesn't kill us, it makes us stronger somehow.

This is how I felt after going through chemo and radiation for 3rd stage breast cancer years ago. It was an awakening of what is important in life and what is not. I had to get very close to Jesus where I felt safe and joyful. But I know Jesus suffered so much more than me for the love of humanity and He is ignored by so many...

I also agree that a big storm coming... A storm of enormous proportion. We truly need powerful celestial help.

Sara at Come Away With Me said...

Thank you for sharing your thoughts so beautifully. I can only agree! I guess most of us have some devastating, horrific or at least extremely painful things in our pasts that have taught us to treasure the light, the love, the goodness we have since found. And taught us to do our best to recognize and root out the darkness in our own hearts. I am reminded of a few lines in the very long and beautiful prayer (also known as an Akathist) called "Glory to God for All Things": "Incline my heart to hear Your mysterious voice in every moment of my life. Incline my heart to call upon You, present in everything. Glory to You for every happening, every condition Your providence has put me in...Glory to You for scattering our vain imaginations...Glory to You for raising us from the slough of our passions through suffering...Glory to You for curing our pride of heart by humiliation...Glory to You for all things."

Blessings to you! We are enjoying the change in the weather down here as well. Let's hope we get some good rain in the next few days too.

TheCrankyCrow said...

Good grief.... My apologies for all the grammar and spelling errors. Where' s the edit button when you need it?

Gumbo Lily said...

These are such good words. We so easily forget that we see the Light shining the brightest in the dark. I can relate to your story, Kim, and I too overcame by the grace and the tender hand of God guiding me through difficult days. Our trust is not in man, but in the Name of the Lord Jesus. He will guide us through whatever is on the horizon. Thank you for sharing your story.

Rugs and Pugs said...

How sad to lose your mom at such a young age.
Wonderful post. I think we are in for more surprises than many can possibly imagine. Scary times.

Pom Pom said...

He is near, very near and like you said this morning, He is the TRUTH. He is the benevolent Giver of all good gifts.
Thank you for sharing your story. Oh, how He loves you, oh, how He looked after you, my precious friend.