Finding Joy in All Things

 

We have a storm coming this morning, I went outside to watch as it approaches. This storm is coming from the east. You can smell the desert. There is something magical about the desert, just as there is about the ocean. Of course, a east wind will end up bringing dust with it, but as of now, its wonderful to smell the fresh clean air. I am not a big fan of palm trees, but I do love the sound they make in a storm. They are mesmerizing to watch as the wind tosses them to and fro. 
 

I  thought I would share something today. Something I have been thinking about. When my Mom got sick I was eleven. She wanted us to have as much normal as possible, so she didn't take any pain medication and worked at being normal. I walked in one morning when she was trying to make her bed and she had to sit down and I could see her heartbeat in her neck. I told her I would make her bed from now on and to not worry about it. She got sicker and sicker and I just kept praying that God would heal her and she would get well. She didn't. On September 11, 1969 she went home to the Lord. 

No matter how hard I try and how many times I have written about it, there is just no words I felt for the devastation I felt. The complete and utter loss. People trying to be kind said the cruelest things. One of them was God doesn't make mistakes. That got on my mind and what began as just a thoughtless remark would engulf my life. You see, God had taken the one and perfect thing in my life and left me with my Dad. My Dad was poles opposite from my Mom. Like getting Joe and Kamala for President and Vice President. The worst thing you can imagine. The absolute worst thing in the world. 

  Stay with me here, this isn't a political discussion. Loosing my Mom was the worst thing to ever happen to me at that point. But the next most horrible thing was the day my Dad remarried. February 14th 1970. Five months. Going from a Mother who loved me to a Step-Mother who reminded me of my faults and my failures. I went from being a sweet girl to an evil one. 

What I want to be the take away from this is, without that loss, the pain, the stripping away my self love and pride. I would not be who I am today. The brokenness, the black fibers that make up the outlines of  the picture that is me, I wouldn't be able to see the colors that daily flood my life. The joy that comes is illumined so much more clearly because of the dark. 

 I didn't give up then. I won't give up now. I do think we are in for surprises and things that may shock and scare us. I think though that finding joy each day, in the unexpected is still the best. 

" Lord, be our Sun and Shield, Shine on us, protect us as we seek to live and witness to your truth. Forgive us for our fears of petty loss. Remind us that it is in losing ourselves that we find You." From A Lamp for My Feet, p. 56

 

That is why, through the experiences in my life I can say with confidence. 

The best is yet to be. 

~Kim~