On The Hamster Wheel.

Do you remember when you were a kid and your Mom would say, " If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Yours didn't? Oh, well, mind did all of the time. I would today say the same thing about using the key board to write a blog. I feel like my life is and has been a giant hamster wheel. I can't get off either.

Every day, there is dust, and noise and men. The tractors go up and down the road from 5:30 in the morning until 6:00 in the evening. Yesterday they had that roller thing going up and down the road all day. My house vibrated, my key board vibrated. So did my body. When I leave the house, I am afraid I won't get back. When I stay home I think I will go crazy. Yesterday the trash man came, and I wanted to fall down and worship. Its funny how things like this narrow my vision. Today they are turning off our water. They have to move the fire hydrants. They have turned off the electricity. As I thought about it this morning. I think its good every in a while to view life, by doing without.

Knowing I was going to be without water today, I had to wash the dog. I also had to wash every sheet, pillow case and rug. Not to mention every bit of dirty laundry I could find. Its only going to be until 3:00 but you would think the way I carry on its the end of the world. Never mind I have a 30,000 gallon swimming pool out there in the back yard full of water. I have become such a whiner and a sissy. It drives me nuts. I just can't seem to get a handle on it and I can't figure out why. So I turned to my friend the late Elisabeth Elliot for a good tail kicking. She did too.

 

I do love listening to her. She is here if you want to down load her messages. So this is what I learned.
I like my life to be well ordered. I like to live with the illusion that I am in control. Therefore when things get out of my control, I completely fall apart. I can't even hook a rug. Being creative? What is that?
In order to get my mail, I have to go to this funny post office annex and stand with a bunch of other people and wait for this lady who takes her time doing her job. I was happy one day to watch a sweet two year old try and step on a beetle with his sweet little red shoes. He wasn't heavy enough to kill the bug, but it provided me and him with what felt like hours of enjoyment.

Elisabeth Elliot said the other day, " What trial does God have you in the midst of right now." Then she went on to say, " The first thing that popped into you mind is what God is allowing in your life today." My thought was the road. Then she said, " God says, will you trust me? Will you give this to Me."

I

I feel like I have lost my humor, and my joy in living. Elisabeth Elliot when on to quote a poem by Amy Carmichael.
"These Strange Ashes, Lord?"

But these strange ashes, Lord, this nothingness,

This baffling sense of loss?

Son, was the anguish of my stripping less

Upon the torturing cross?

Was I not brought into the dust of death,

A worm and no man, I;

Yea, turned to ashes by the vehement breath

Of fire, on Calvary?

O Son beloved, this is thy heart’s desire:

This, and no other thing

Follows the fall of Consuming Fire

On the burnt offering.

Go on and taste the joy set high, afar –

No joy like that to thee;

See how it lights the way like some great star.

Come now, and follow Me.

– Amy Carmichael

 I think how in the world could something like this, which on one hand is NO BIG DEAL! When the terrible, horrible stuff is going on in the world. It shames me to my core. I have become so self-centered and selfish and as petty as can be. So as I said, earlier, this has caused me to think about how going without is a good thing because it shows to me the serious cracks that are in my character. So it is a good thing to be reminded of how much I have, how much I have been given and how blessed I am.

So today on this hamster wheel of life, I am going to have a happy face because its Friday and hopefully, they won't work this weekend!!

Have a lovely weekend.

~Kim~

“All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.”

― Julian of Norwich