Running Toward May

My birthday is this week. EEK!!! My age equals ten when you add the two numbers together. How can I be this old, well I am not yet, not until Thursday. Double number years have been epic years in my life so this one is no exception. Not a fan of birthdays, nor Mothers Day. Nor any of those things. When my step mother said the year I turned 12 when she found me crying on our front porch. ( I was crying because I missed my birth Mom so much.) She assumed I was crying because I didn't get a present I wanted. " She said, " Kim the sooner you learn the world does not revolve around you the happier you will be."

I keep trying to learn that, to think of others more highly than myself, too walk a mile in someone elses  shoes before I judge and keep trying to pull that enormous log out of my eye before I try to see that little splinter in my brother's eye. Every year after  I got married, my Dad would call on my birthday to remind me that, I was born on the hottest May ever. The store he worked in was having a grand opening. I was six week premature. So he had to leave to take my Mom to the hospital. Then I was born so tiny that they had to go home and leave me there. Then there was the bill for me. It was 268 dollars. He said, my Mom was crying because she didn't know where they would get that much money to pay for me. My Dad was a gambler. He had been gambling some where and he said, "I had exactly 268 dollars hid in his wallet from my Mom". Then he would say, " You cost me every single penny I had to get you out of the hospital and you have been costing me ever since."  Then he would laugh.

Every single year. Until he died. Now I hear it in my head every time my birthday comes around. I hate my birthday. This year, I am going shopping and out to dinner and I am going to laugh and be happy and not work. This year, I have made up my mind I am going to have fun and eat birthday cake and blow out candles. It is time to stop the sad things that haunt me and be happy because I have such wonderful people in my life.

So this year, I will be...but one thing I do , forgetting the things which are behind, and stretching forward to the things which are before. ( Philippians 3:13)

All of us are on a journey and as I let go of the old things, I will keep pressing on toward the new things. Life is way to short to be living in the past.

Laughter is easier than tears. Thank you for reading along.
Have a lovely Monday,
~Kim~