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Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Wednesday Words

I have my husband's old computer and for some reason, it has decided that it will no longer upload pictures from my camera. I will have to use the photos now on my computer which is really sad as there are so many pretty shots I am missing. Yesterday, there were so many pretty, twinkling, green leaves that dressed the trees.

Each year at the end of December, I sit with an open Bible in my lap and a notebook in my hand and I stare out the window and pray and as I do, I ask God to give me a verse or a word that will be as it were a sign post to hang my hat on in the new year. This year when I did it the one word He gave was relinquishment. I didn't want that word. this is what it means.
re·linquish·ment n.
Synonyms: relinquish, yield, resign, abandon, surrender, cede, waive, renounce
These verbs mean letting something go or giving something up. Relinquish, the least specific, may connote regret: can't relinquish the idea.
Yield implies giving way, as to pressure, often in the hope that such action will be temporary: had to yield ground.

To tell you the truth, I jumped up, put my Bible on the shelf and went outside and walked and in my mind I argued with God why that wasn't the word I wanted. As I have watched the changes and each one, I open my hands to God, and relinquish each day as God taps me on the shoulder and asks for one more thing that I am afraid to say, has become an idol in my own life.

 The other day I was reading the passage in Genesis 31:34 Rachel has stolen her father Labin's household idols and put them in her saddle bag on her camel. She was sitting on the idols as her Father is going through every thing in Jacob's tents. Rachel tells her father it is that time of the month for her while she is sitting on the camel.
As I thought about her sitting on the idols it came to me that Rachel wanted a god that she could keep in her purse. I am the same, I want a god I keep in my purse that does what I want that makes me happy and makes me comfortable. Not one that says to me, " Will you trust me?" A god in a purse is easier to deal with than one who comes to die on a cross so I might have life more abundantly. Having an abundant life means giving up my plans and my desires so I may walk in a place that I might not want to go but when I get there I see so much more than I ever dreamed.

So today I add one more thing to that list of things God asks me to relinquish this year. In two weeks my oldest daughter and her family, will be relocating to Arizona. Yesterday as I was weeping and feeling sorry for myself and accusing God because He wasn't doing what I wanted. He does remind me quite often that " My ways are not His ways and my thoughts are not His thoughts, and His thoughts are way above mine."

 I don't know how this happens I am not asleep and it is like watching a movie but it is all going on in my brain. It could just be memories. ( I was eleven at home in bed)  But all of a sudden, I was seeing my grand mother standing at the bedside in the hospital and my mother had just died. My grand mother was the age I am now and my mother was the age my daughter is now. As I watched it dawned on me how blessed I am, what a gift I have been given. I live in a time with email, computers, skype, airplanes, and cars. When God took my mother home at 31 my grandmother lost her only daughter until they saw each other again after 25 years. In Heaven. Arizona isn't as far as heaven. My daughter will be raising her children. Not having to watch the hell that went on in my grand mother's life after my Dad remarried. I know nothing of brokenness. God is and has been so merciful to me.

When I was young and had no idea really what lessons I would be learning. I prayed this prayer. It is a verse from Philippians 3:10 ...That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; I don't think I thought it would hurt. Or that I would have to relinquish those things I have loved to the point of idolatry.

I have peace in spite of the changes that are coming at me so fast sometimes each day I feel I can't catch my breath. I think I need to change my thinking to not the things I loose, but to the adventures that are just around the corner. Yesterday, I felt like the Israeli's after they left Egypt. The Red Sea in front of me, the Pharaoh and the Egyptian Army at my back. As I stood there on the bank, I heard these words. " Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.  The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”   "There is no panic in Heaven; God has no problems; Only Plans" ( Corrie Ten Boom)

When I was a young mother and I had read The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom. It became sort of a model of how I wanted to live life. Her words continue to give me comfort. I always told myself I wanted to keep my hands open and have God take what He wanted and to put in what He wanted I find that I close my hands and the pain comes when He has to open my hands. I broke one of the rules that Corrie taught me. " Hold everything in your hands lightly; otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open."


These are my thoughts and my words today. I am thankful that I have been given this life. I know that God has more than I ever dreamed of and I am thankful I can trust Him.

Have a Wonderful Wednesday,

~Kim~

20 comments:

  1. I figured you were having a hard time since you haven't posted in a few days. It will all be ok.

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  2. We can still sit and drink coffee and talk over webcam. Our friend who lives on the east coast does that with her grandbabies.

    I'm going through so many of the same things, but the Bible story I've been pondering is Abraham. God didn't tell him, "Go to Caanan." God just said, "Start walking and I'll tell you when to stop."

    Then years later, when Abraham sent his servant back to his family to find a wife for Isaac, his servant was able to say how God had blessed Abraham with all kinds of wealth, even a son. They didn't have internet--heck, they didn't even have mail. At least we have that much! But God blesses obedience, and that's what we're trying to do.

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  3. Be Blessed, beautiful flowers, Spring Blessings Francine.

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  4. I think that there is some truth in the quote When God closes one door he opens another. I wish I could come up with wiser words but God knows what he's doing and his plan is always perfect.

    I've noticed through observation that when I do something that demands sacrifices, I'm doing the will of God and although it's difficult, I feel good after I've done it. Accepting the will of God is never an easy assignment.

    God's will is that we have life and that we abide in his love forever. It's hard for us to grasp this. His plan is to help us achieve this.

    May God gives you wisdom and strength to accept his will. Be at Peace my friend.
    Hugs & Love
    JB

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  5. I am reminded, "Through all the setbacks of our lives as believers, God is plotting for our joy." -- John Piper

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  6. Oh Kim I can soo relate to this post. How I have struggled with my only daughter living so far away from me, and since she's added the babies it is of course even harder. And yet! your soo right. With all the ways we have to stay connected now, they really all are a part of my every day life. We talk, skype, email, and send pics and videos every day! And Arizona? Not that far in my opinion. I'd be giddy if Melody were in Arizona. That's a week-end turn around if you want it to be. You will be surprised how fast you will adjust. God will be faithful. And when you think of the mom's who lose their daughters altogether, we've NO reason to complain you are sooo right. I am going to remember that the next time I am feeling blue. Praying for you....HUGS

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  7. you have so many great stories inside you kim, i'm glad you are telling them!!

    gorgeous images today, even if they are "old"!! xo

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  8. Kim, you are so courageous to open up and expose your inner truth, I so enjoy and admire your heartfelt posts. Honestly, I would be beside myself If one of my sons moved away, but I would keep a stiff upper lip and never let on, just supportive. Is this your daughter and son inlaw with the four adorable grandsons? Well, I am thinking of you, stay strong, your friend from Maine.

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  9. Thanks for sharing so honestly, Kim! Hugs to you and your daughter too, as you adjust to the "new normal"!

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  10. Thanks for sharing. Now- pass a Kleenex. You made me cry. Your realization dealing with your daughter and your mother is powerful. It's so hard to let Him be in charge, but He is so much wiser than we are. Relinquishing is a tough word. Some of your blog post have SO MUCH insight.

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  11. I have that favorite talk Billy Graham gave on the you tube video I love, Give Me Jesus. He says "choosing to suffer the afflictions of this present age, instead of the pleasures of sin". i have spent the last several months pondering that, and reminding myself to chose rightly. Most of me, does Not want to. I have to remind myself to yield. Most of me, does Not want to. Thankful am I though, that He continues to help me, even in spite of Me! hugs to you, on your journey. this was a very good post!

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  12. Sending you peace and joy, Kim. xo Nellie

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  13. Lovely post as always, Kim. I have that book The Hiding Place but have never read it. It sounds like I oughta get it down from the shelf. Thank you for sharing from your heart. May the Lord bless you and keep you as you let go of your precious daughter. It is hard to parent grown kids, isn't it? You're still a mom, even though your role has changed. May He bring you His peace during this time of transition.

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  14. I'm so sorry Kim. I want to give you some word of encouragement, but I lack the insight fulness that you have so much of. The truth is, I am heart broken for you. I know what your children mean to you and I put myself in your shoes and I can feel your pain. You have such faith, I know God will get you through this move.

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  15. Oh Kim, I admire your honesty. I know that by the grace of our God, you will be through this ... and that there will be good from it. After all, He doesn't waste a hurt or a difficult time. {{hug}}

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  16. Oh sweetie my heart aches for you as I know just how I would feel if my daughter's were to move away.

    Though I moved away from my mother for 6 years and it was difficult but also in the end it was very rewarding as we became closer in so many other ways and enjoyed the time we did get to spend together.I will pray it's not long term and that in the future you can become closer in miles once again.Also that your heart may be healed.

    It's not easing being a Mamma or loving so much or trusting and letting go either for that matter.Not a word I have wanted to deal with either but I sure have had to learn how to trust and let go myself.

    Many Prayers and Blessings your way.Thanks for sharing always beautiful.~K.Marie xoxo

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  17. Beautiful pictures Kim. I am sorry for what you're going through and I am sending positive thoughts your way friend.

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  18. A beautiful post. Thank you for blessing me today!

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  19. Well, Kim, it seems you've been in my heard. How in the world did you get in there? :) I know exactly how your mind works as mine works much the same way. I want you to know that I have been opening myself up more and more to the word of God thanks, in part, to you. Whether you know it or not, you are quite an inspiration and I'm blessed and grateful that you put yourself out there in honesty. Trusting God sounds so simple, doesn't it? And it really is when we put our selfishness away- or relinquish it... Such an inspiring post. Thank you for the blessing of your words and your friendship! Love and hugs!

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  20. My word for the year is transition...and I haven't liked how it has played its self out either..but God knew what was coming! I am sorry for the move of your daughter, yet praising God that you have had all these years with her and her children so close. I hope God continues to show you His hand and that He meets the desires of your heart.
    Hugs

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