Its mid December and what a nice December it has been. We got 1.27 inches of rain yesterday. Snow is on the mountains and its crisp and cold. The sky is crystal blue and it really feels like a long lost Christmas to me. Last night the clouds cleared and I could see Venus and it reminded me of the star I used to sing to so long ago. I was thinking about it as I stood there looking up. I think my neighbors would think I was nuts if I broke into Silent Night or Away in the manger.
That first Christmas after my Mom died, I hated being in the house. Nothing I could do could make our house feel like home. I tried to do everything she had done at Christmas. I had put the Nativity on the mantel. We had decorated the tree with all of her favorite ornaments. We had made paper chains and had decorated with red and green crepe paper, just like she taught us. I even strung popcorn for the tree. But the silence was deafening. The house always seemed cold. I took to staying outside as much as I could. In the pasture between our house and my grandparents house (what became my future yard and my old house before this one.) I would climb up on a metal calf stanchion. I would sit there and sing to the star of what I imagined was the star over baby Jesus's calf trough. It was cold then too, but it was warmer than being in the empty house. My little brother and my sister were in my grandparents house until my Dad came home from work, and fixed us Rice a Roni for dinner. ( That was all he knew how to fix after my Mom died. We ate every flavor that winter, which was chicken and beef.)
One night as I was singing my heart out in the dark, and feeling festive. We had learned We Wish You a Merry Christmas at school. Plus a little Rudolph the Reindeer. When the back door opened and Papa said, "Kim! You alright?" I said, " Yes, Papa I am okay." I very quietly climbed down and went into the house. That year was a very hard Christmas, my Dad was at his new girlfriends house, with her family.
By February he was remarried and life became as Charles Dickens puts it in The Tale of Two Cities, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." But that is for a different story. Christmas is always bittersweet, don't you think?
I have had so much fun this year. I finished this rug again. I have no idea where my rug went. I am afraid it got lost in the move. I decided I needed another one. I finished it yesterday. This is one of Cathy's patterns. I love her patterns.
I have been working on my counted cross stitch too.
Those patterns are from The Humble Stitcher and from Stacy Nash.
I almost forgot this one from The Old Tattered Flag. I finally got it hung.
That was a fun rug to make. It was one of those that I made in about two days, I just couldn't leave it alone. Now trying to finish it was another story. I finally tried in my mind to think of it as a pillow. But it was still hard to do. But its hung now and it was a really fun little project. I don't normally buy kits, but I did with this one and I was so glad I did.
Its so much fun to have a project like this before I jump back into my big rugs. I am working on Magdalena's Goat. I bought my
pattern from Saundra. (Saundra's picture, not mine)
I hope you have a lovely creative day. I feel so overwhelmed everyday, but God's continued goodness.
I keep my eyes peeled for all of the goodness I see, and try and shut my eyes to those things I know I cannot change, and just turn to prayer about those other things. I figure, that this is really and truly God's deal and not any of my business. No sense getting myself in a snit. At this stage of life all it does is shorten my life and I miss all of the treasures I should be paying attention to and laughter is the best medicine.
Merry Christmas
~Kim~
" The immense step from the Babe at Bethlehem to the living, reigning triumphant Lord Jesus, returning to earth for His own people - that is the glorious truth proclaimed throughout Scripture. As the bells ring out the joys of Christmas, may we also be alert for the final trumpet that will announce His return, when we shall always be with Him."
- Alan Redpath
7 comments:
Oh Kim, I cannot image how devastating it was for a kid to lose a mother at a young age. So understand how those memories must cloud your thoughts of this time of year. But you can make new memories, start new traditions from what you remember as the fun times when she was there.
Oh but I sure do love that stocking from OTF!!!! Ya did good.
Beautiful...albeit bittersweet...post my friend. I know somewhat what it is like to lose a parent at a young age, but I was defintiely older than you and somehow I think it is most often more difficult for young children to lose their mother vs. their father since, most often (at least when WE were young) the mothers are the main caretakers and the ones who embue houses with the feeling of home. Wow...your projects are all absolutely beautiful!! I especially love the stitched house piece...that's going to be wonderful when done. I had in mind to hook three stockings for Christmas...well I got one fully done, (red and white striped too like yours...but not long and narrow) and another almost completely hooked, but that's it. I think I put off finishing the hooking on the second stocking because (1) we don't have a Christmas here anymore and (2) the final finishing was a real pain LOL. Gah!!! As always, great to see a post from you pop up...have been trying to do one myself but haven't managed. And, as always, your words and photos are beautiful. I especially love the last photo of the belsnickle and silver "trimmings." ~Robin~
Oh to lose your mom as a child so scary. Today is the 13th anniversary of my mother's passing. I was an adult with a married daughter. And I still mourn her death. I am so happy to see you hooking and stitching and blogging!
Cathy
I can only imagine how difficult it was for you to lose your Mom at such a tender age, and then to feel the responsibility for your siblings and home surely was overwhelming at times.
You are one of the most positive people that I know, and you encourage me to see the sunny side of the street, thank you~!
Love all of your projects, and I still do love that stocking that you hooked; it's adorable~!
{{hugs}}
~K.
Kim,
So happy you are back to blogging! I hope you are here to stay.
Your story is just breaking my heart even though it happened many decades ago. How hard that must have been for you. How very sad.
Beautiful projects.
xoxo
Kim, it's nice seeing you blogging again. I always think that you should write your memories in a book form. Your story is very heart breaking and especially since you wear your heart on your sleve, like they say.
This time of year can be so difficult especially when the house is empty and everyone is busy with their own troubles and especially since Covid.
You always keep busy and your rugs are beautiful as your homenade Christmas wooden decorations.
Good memories and sad memmories is what life is made of. It's good to keep them in the box where we can sometime visit them and see that life is wonderful never the less. There are always some orphans who never get to have a loving home or no home at all.
You have been so blessed beyond measure with a beautiful large family, but we all know that nothing is ever perfect in this world. Only Jesus (was) is perfect but they crusified Him.
Merry Christmas dear blogger friend and thanks for your support.
Hugs,
Julia
A belated Merry Christmas Kim, to you and yours. Thank you for sharing your bittersweet story. Looking back always is a little bittersweet, remembering those earlier joys and the losses that tug at our hearts now. I always enjoy seeing your rugs and needlework projects. I've never tried either one and probably never will, but I do appreciate the work and care that goes into them. Blessings to you and may the New Year bring us plenty of goodness and health, with God's help. Hugs!
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