I have to show you the truth of the matter though. Weeds are winning. I walked down to see just how bad one side of the house was because I need to get this fence row done. Sasha was trying to follow like she was on a jungle trek. This picture cracked me up, but there is also a scary feeling inside of me. Knowing how much work is there is sort of overwhelming.
|Can you see Sasha in there?|
Then there are the little ones that will come out lots easier. Sort of like the the things that go on in my life. It is the big things like jealousy,unforgiveness, and bitterness. Those are the big weeds in my life. The little weeds are gossip, rolling of the eyes, and disrespect of authority figures. Lots of things that shouldn't be there but are and I think sometimes this picture is how I really look inside. Just a mess.
I sometimes feel like I only present nice things on my blog. I just wanted you to know how human I really am and how not everything in my life is all flowers and no weeds. For me most days are about getting knocked down and deciding to get back up. When I was learning to ride a horse and I would fall off, my Dad would make me get back on, and even if the horse took two steps and I fell off again, Dad would say, " brush yourself off and get back on that horse or I will sell it." So I would get back on because I wanted that horse so bad. That has been the last eight months of my life. Everyday, I have to brush myself off and get back up.
Choosing to keep going forward is a choice. Trying to keep my eyes forward and not back is also a challenge. One thing I keep learning is that I am held in the everlasting arms and He is who sustains me, comforts me and gives me peace.
One thing I have learned, is before I die, my estate will be divided and it will be in good order. I will not do to my children and grandchildren what has been going on in my life for the last eight years. That is all I will say about this but nothing is worse than what I have learned about people. I want my life to be a bit of Pollyanna, Anne of Green Gables, and Father Tim in Mitford. I work very hard at that, but this last few months I feel like I have lived in the Tales of the Crypt or Nightmare on Elm Street. I really do not know what I would do without the sustaining presence of God in my life.
I am here though, on this first day of March. A beautiful blue sky kind of day. I hope your day is filled with all sorts of great things.