Why I Am Glad To Be 50+

I had an eye appointment yesterday and I will have to have two cataract surgeries next year. To say I came home feeling old, and worn out was a understatement. I came home and looked in the mirror and decided that I would be thankful that I live in this age where they will take out my old lens and pop in a new one and I will be able to see. I thought about other things I am thankful for at this age.

Being over 50 means, I get to be who I am, really. Not that person I tried to be for the 40 earlier years, like Nancy Drew, or a California Girl in a string bikini, or a soccer Mom or any of those labels I tried to live up too. Now, I am just a me, full time.

Being this age, no amount of Oil of Olay will help. I am going to have lines, and gray hair and hopefully, I will have more laugh lines rather than grumpy lines. Smiles are far more encouraging than frowns and cost me nothing. As does being nice.

 I noticed the other day, I have some serious quirks. I never noticed, but when I get nervous, I talk too much. I have to keep telling myself to shut up and quit rattling along like a model T. I  realized that at this age, it would be easy to become a crone. I do have to fight selfishness really hard. Because at 55 I want to do what I want to do, every day, all the time.

I won't wear junior clothes anymore. I know that should have been something I  would have  noticed before now, but I didn't.  I went clothes shopping and bought new jeans in the woman's department, in the petite section. I love my jeans, I am happy again about getting dressed. At 55 I can be comfortable with how I am shaped and how I am built, since I was 10 years old I have been trying to be Twiggy. I have curves and hips. Having six kids does that.

I think today it dawned on me, I am who I am, the people who haven't liked me in the past won't like me now or ever. The people who like me now will go on being my friends. Life is too short to keep looking back.
I think at this age, being comfortable in my own skin is far more important than worrying about the other things that never happen. Being creative and liking the way things look to me is important. One thing I learned this week, is I don't like things symmetrical. It drives me nuts. I didn't know that until I was looking at Ron's wire trees. I love his trees but I found myself asking him to mix it up and make that branch look different from the other branches. It dawned on me, I like Whimsical. which means cockeyed, out of balance and there are people who like every thing to line up straight and be perfectly in line.. So this weekend I learned why. It isn't a bad thing, it is just how it is and it helped me to see, that being different is okay.

So being this age is a good thing. Yesterday, going to the eye appointment I didn't wear makeup. I really expected people to run from the office screaming in fright. No one did. They were polite and nice. I thought driving home, no one cares just be who you are because beauty is fleeting, and it is the gentle and quiet spirit that draws people not what I look on the outside.

Just thoughts rattling around in my brain today.
Thanks for stopping by I know how busy this time of year is so thank you,
~Kim~

Cold and Frosty

It is another cold and frosty day. As I write this it is down to 24 degrees. Funny things I notice with the cold. The garage door won't open, unless you help it. The cold for some reason keeps it from lifting. The cold that pours in from the vents on the roof. The air that comes in the laundry room from the dryer vent makes the floor feel like a fan is on. Then outside the condensation from the dryer vent on the roof, makes it look like the house is on fire. The chickens have put all differences aside and the Silkies are the preferred little chickens to be snuggled up to on cold nights. The roosters of course are in the middle of them all.

The sun isn't up yet, so you can only see the frost a little bit. I expect the trees to begin raining leaves anytime this week. No snow of course, just a hard frost each day.  It is good because it will kill the bugs that have got a foot hold out in my garden.

We put up the lights outside and decorated the tree yesterday. It only got up to 42 degrees yesterday and they had to wait for the frost to melt off of the roof. I made lots of hot chocolate with whip cream and sprinkles. It was voted better than Starbucks. :)

 Everyone on the roof but me. They were yelling and saying things like, " Watch Mom, I am going to jump!!" I don't get out on the roof unless I am washing windows. Even taking the pictures makes my stomach feel weird.

I finished my Merry Christmas rug that I bought from Cathy Greschner at the Red House Wool Studio.

It is a fun little rug to hook. I also started working on a big rug from the book Quilts and Rugs by Polly Minick and Laurie Simpson. I love the book as it has so many nice full size patterns.

I worked on the fence off and on yesterday. I really enjoy this pattern so far. I realized why I like huge rugs to hook yesterday. It is is kind of like reading Bleak House by Dickens, the book is so long I always feel like when I am finished I miss my friends, the same with big rugs, the longer I work on them the more attached I become. Weird I know but my mind works like that. When I make dolls, my favorite part is very last I make the faces. I am waiting on the nose for the same reason.

I have lots to do today. The house looks like we had one long party this weekend. Putting up the tree always seems to make such a mess. I hope you have a nice week.

Happy Monday to you,
~Kim~

Cold and Perfect Friday

Last night, I had to go outside and it was cold, crisp and clear. I could see so many stars. Only briefly because I turned  tail and ran back in the house. There was a roaring fire and all of the house critters were sleeping as close to the stove as they could get. I can count on one hand the times we have had cold like this. Which means, not very often.

 Living in the middle of a oil field like I do, this week, there has been a oil rig at the back of the property pulling sucker rod so the oil well will work better. Every morning long before the sun comes up the lights come on and you can hear men's  voices getting ready to start their day. As I watch, from my perch in the house with my hot coffee in hand, I am so glad I am not them. That poor man who must go up into the crows nest to guide the pipes as they come out of the ground must have the worst job in the world. Being up there with all of the cold and getting all covered in oil and sand.

 

One of the things I have been very thankful for this week, is my nice chicken house. I am so glad they have a place that is so clean and not as cold as the old coop. I sit out there a few times a day to just watch them be chickens. I noticed the other night when I went out to lock them in and they were all on the roost, how like children they are. As I stood and watched and all of them were trying to find the best spot, one of the hens would look at the one next to her and just peck her in the head for no reason.

It made me remember family vacations. You know how you are driving down the road and kids start to get bored and you hear, " Mom!!! They are breathing on me!!!" " I am not! You are breathing on me!!"  Then as the chickens do comes a giant peck and the fights is on. I thought of that standing there. Having chickens for the eggs is very nice but the entertainment value is priceless.

 

The weather man keeps saying we will have snow tonight and in the morning. It hasn't snowed in 16 years so I hope this is a year for snow. It is pretty and clear and not a cloud in the sky so we will see if the models are right. It is so frosty though, I can almost pretend it is snow. I have decided that arctic air is wonderful to breathe as it smells so good and clean. After the long hot summer, I think this is bliss.

Have a wonderful Friday, I hope the ice storm isn't as bad as the weather men keep saying. I am watching very nervously our orange and lemon crop. It is just starting to get ripe. We picked some last night and they were okay.

I love Fridays and if it is a snowy, rainy Saturday it will be so nice.

I hope your days are nice too.
~Kim~

Finding Quietness In December

One of the things about December is I can get so caught up in the rush and bustle and all of the good things that have to be done. I forget the important things. The places that give me the strength and peace to make this a nice holiday and not one filled with stress and worry. I must find places in my day to find quietness. No computer, no music, just the quietness and peace. Even if it is only five minutes. To make myself a cup of tea, to sit and watch the leaves fall from the trees. To sit quietly and offer up prayers for those I know and love. To reflect on the faithfulness of the Father. To see the difference that one short year makes.

Last year in 2012, the road ahead and all I could see was change and hardness. My life, I thought was so full of change, I doubted if I had the strength to do what I knew was being asked of me. Today I am so thankful for it. Last year was out of my control. I tried every thing in the world. You will laugh, but I made every bargain I could with God. I was like that old Keds commercial,  I made promises to God that I would run faster, jump higher and do more impossible things if only He would answer my prayer the way I was begging Him to do. He said loudly and over and over, " No." Firmly sometimes, accompanied with, " My thoughts are not your thoughts nor are my ways your ways, My ways are higher than your ways  as are the heavens are above the earth."

 

I would read things like this, " Let's never forget that some of His greatest mercies are His refusals. He says no in order that He may, in some way we cannot imagine, say yes. All His ways with us are merciful. His meaning is love." ( Elisabeth Elliot, Keep a Quiet Heart, p.119)

This Christmas season, after a year of change, in every area of my life. I am thankful for the consistency of God and His unchanging love that never once let me go, though there were many times I wanted Him to make it all go away. He taught me that He doesn't do these things because He hated me but because of His love that is unfailing.

One thing that I think colors my life, the year I was 10 years old, my mother gave us this incredible Christmas. She brought cupcakes to our home room on the last day of school before Christmas vacation. She was so beautiful, and her laughter was so warming. Even the teacher seemed so mesmerized by her. The kids in the class room watched her and would ask me, " Is that your Mom?" I would smile and they all said the same thing, " You are so lucky." She took us shopping after school, and then she bought decorations and we made paper chains and our house in my 10 year old eyes was more beautiful than it had been ever before.

 

 By the next Christmas she was gone. Our house was cold and dark. I had my grand mother take me to the store and I bought the same decorations as she had the year before. I decorated as she had done, I tried so hard to capture what I had lost. That year, it rained and rained and the house was cold and dark. My brother was eight, my sister six and I was eleven. I remember watching the rain, alone, as my Dad went to spend Christmas with his new girl friend and her family.

 

The next Christmas, I would have three step brothers and a new step mother. Life changed so much. For years, do you know how people would say God Doesn't make mistakes, well in my mind, He did, I would say, " God you took the wrong one." As I saw it we could have done just fine if God had taken my Dad.

I spent years, and when I finally came to the conclusion, God doesn't make mistakes, all things that God allowed, were Father filtered. He allowed those things to make me who I am today.  No matter how bad life gets, God never allows anything but what is good and perfect and a gift. Because in the midst of the hard things, there as a secret lining is joy that can not be contained. Like this year. Every where I turn is joy and laughter and blessing. I am so thankful for every single bit that I have been given. Without the clouds, there would be  no rain. Without rain nothing grows. I am so thankful for the rain and how when God promises that
He will never, never, never, never, never, leave us or forsake us, He doesn't. He has wonderful surprises in store.

Have a wonderful day. I know this is long, but it is my Christmas story for this year. For me this year is a miracle. It has been the best of years. I am so thankful.

`Kim~