Monday, October 15, 2012
The Opening and Closing of Doors
When I first gave my life to the Lord, I wanted a faith that would be tested. I wanted to be like those people I read about in books, when in trials I couldn't imagine I would also be able to stand firm. This summer I learned that those Corrie Ten Booms, Hudson Taylor's even Elisabeth Elliot and Ruth Grahams, were not writing books as they walked through the trial. They wrote the books after they made it through. As they looked back at all that God had done through them and for them.
I have found that what faith I thought I had, wasn't a real faith. My faith likes warm, safe and secure places.
God made me go to hard places where I couldn't trust my feelings, but had to trust His Word that was the light to my path. I had to go by what was written and count on the fact God doesn't lie.
All of the times the quiet sound of God's voice would say, " Will you trust me?" I thought I was but I really wasn't, I was trusting in my own strength. I see why I have had to come this far in the breaking process because of my own determination to do what I want, my way. Oh, will I ever learn?
I was reading the old writers I love, like Andrew Murray, on prayer. He talked of the prayer of relinquishment. It is a old word that we don't hear much anymore. I started praying that prayer giving everything I knew how to give over to God. Today, He answered.
I am sure that I only know the first bit of this answer, I know that I am going to have to keep relinquishing lots more things than I ever dreamed but I know that physically, I have to do it willingly because I don't have the strength to fight God any more.
Just so you know, it is all good, really, really good. When I woke up this morning a verse was going around in my head and I thought it was weird because the last time God gave it to me, was when I thought He couldn't do something huge, and He did.
This was the verse that woke me up. How long wilt thou mourn?....fill thy horn with oil, and go, I will send thee...I have provided...---1st Samuel 16:1
I didn't know why but now I do and I am so thankful for all of the hard things I went through, because I got to see the greatness of a loving Father.
Thank you for visiting today,