July

July

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Thirty-Two Years Ago...

I was thinking today about doing a post about being married 32 years. That seems like such a big number when I still feel like I just got married. When I got married, the only advice I was given was, " Well, if it doesn't work out you can always get divorced."
I knew that no matter what that wasn't going to happen, I didn't know why it wasn't but I had a few rules in my own brain.
Do you know the song by Carly Simon called "That's The Way I Always Heard It Should Be." As I looked around what I saw was the words to that song. I didn't want that.  I knew that I wanted a marriage that was as full of dreams at the beginning as it was at the end. I wanted a marriage filled with joy, love, friendship, kindness and respect. I wanted a castle where my husband came home from slaying dragons to a place of comfort and rest. I wanted a life filled to the brim with life.
I have a list and it will seem very old fashioned and out dated, but I still think the principles still work. Just so you know, 32 years later as I look back over through the course of our lives, I think I have more than I dreamed.

1. Put God and His Word first, my husband second, my kids third. Everything else comes next.

2. Never have a headache.

3. Marriage is never 50/50 sometimes it is 110/0 either him or me, never expect balance.

4. Tear up the lists. Be as blind now as you were that first day you met him. Remember those things you thought were cute in the beginning.

5. Always, always, strive to put his needs, his wants and his desires before my own. Jeeves really is the perfect wife. Anticipate his needs and try to do it. Without expecting him to notice. ( This is always my goal but I fail more often than not. )

6. Laugh, joke, play, remember how you felt at 17 when you lived for the phone calls.

7. He was my best friend from the first, he continues to be that for me, but it is always work as I let the stress of life creep in and I have to make adjustments. I am always adjusting.

8. It is the small things that give me joy, he brings me coffee in bed, every morning. He fixes my breakfast.
He reminds me to eat when he calls at lunch. He buys me flowers to plant or seeds when he goes out. He makes what ever idea I have no matter if he had something else he wanted to do. He puts me first in everything he does.

9. In 32 years, I haven't missed many mistakes. Not going to bed angry has been the best way to live. Most of the fights we have are so dumb anyway.

10. Just so you know, 32 years ago, I didn't want to get married. I was at our apartment crying my eyes out. We needed to be at the rehearsal. I begged him to not marry me. Lets just live together and if it didn't work we could just walk away. He was so nice,"  I asked him what kind of sin had he committed that God wanted to punish him for the rest of his life?"  I could see the wreck of my life I had made up to that point.
He took my hand pulled me to him, wiped away my tears, laughed and said, " I think you are worth it, and no matter what, I will always love you."

He has.

32 years later, six kids richer and with 7 grandchildren  over flowing in our laps with more to come. A field still full of dreams, I am so thankful...he married me.



Thanks for reading along, I am still as amazed as anyone can be that it could be this long. Yet it has passed by in a second.
~Kim~

26 comments:

  1. What a wonderful, wonderful tribute to your hubby and to your marriage. I love your list ... excellent advice for newly-weds and excellent reminders for all of us "old-timers". Happy anniversary to you both!

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  2. I too agree with your list! Congratulations Kim, and best wishes for the next 32:0)

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  3. Ok......sweetest thing you have ever written. You are both blessed!

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  4. congrats to you, dear kim. such a handsome fellow...

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  5. Oh I am so glad there are happy ever afters in married life!
    Wishing you and your husband many more years of happiness together!
    Your list is so right!
    God bless!
    Christine

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  6. Oh Dear Kim, HAPPY 32nd ANNIVERSARY to both of you and CONGRATULATIONS.......

    Your man is still so handsome........ and you are still so pretty.

    You have found the perfect recipe for a happy marriage and it has payed off. Putting God first and the rest follows. I know that it's not always easy to find the balance but you have both worked at it and have reaped the reward of still being in love through all kinds of adversities. BRAVO.
    Not many can say that they feel this way after 32 years together. It really takes two to make it work.

    Hugs, JB

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  7. Such a sweet post. Good advice, too. I think he is a keeper!! :-)

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  8. Congratulations Dear Kim, what a beautiful couple, both inside and out, you both have made together. I wish you many, many more years of happines together. Your friend from Maine, Julie.

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  9. Happy Anniversary to you, dear Kim! This is truly a marvelous tribute to your husband! xoxo

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  10. Oh this is just beautiful..truly beautiful!! We will be married 32 years in June and I so wished I had followed your advice most of the time, but I have to confess I haven't...but I can say my husband said before I said yes to being married I had to understand divorce wasn't an option...which is the best advice we have ever had.

    Congratulations Kim...you said it so well!!! What an inspiration!!

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  11. What a beautiful & important post!
    Happy, happy anniversary!

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  12. Happy Anniversary...it does go by fast doesn't it? You wrote a beautiful tribute to your hubby. You are both very lucky to have each other. Enjoy your day!

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  13. Gosh, I remember when you guys were celebrating 25... It will be fun when you're celebrating 50! I love your list. It is all so true. Especially the part about Jeeves is the best wife. :D

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  14. This is a wonderful tribute to God and to your husband! All I can add is AMEN!

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  15. Oh wow, I can't believe I forgot your anniversary! I hope you get to go out or do something romantic like that. Despite the big storms today. :-)

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  16. Oh, how sweet. He's a cutie and you are, too! What a peppy little bride you were! SO CUTE!
    Oh, it's such a privilege to love, isn't it?
    Great words, Kim!

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  17. Kim
    Happy Anniversary!!
    You have been a very wise woman for
    all these years. It has worked, apparently,
    so I'd say your list is a great one to be
    passed on!!

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  18. Dear Kim, this was such a lovely post first thing in the morning. You love just the way God wants us to. I'm bookmarking this post so that when I'm not feeling particularly loving or nice I can read your inspiring words. Happy Anniversary to both of you!!!

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  19. Congratulations on 32 years what an Awesome testimony of Commitment in these days of marriage termoil. You both are Truly Blessed to have a Lasting Love for each other. May You both Enjoy the day and continued Love .

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  20. Gosh, Kim, you brought tears to my eyes. It was like watching a love story unfold- the kind that is so sweet it makes you cry at the end? Yeah, that kind. So, so, so sweet! I always told my girls to put their significant other first because, if they are focused on him, he won't have to and will be free to focus his attention on them. It works, doesn't it?! I really liked your entire list but especially number 6- IF we can remember back that far. LOL I have to say, this is the best post I've read all morning! Happy Anniversary! And here's to many, many more years to come!

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  21. Oh Kim what a beautiful tribute to your very handsome husband! The advice was GREAT and all of it just soo true. I am a few years ahead of you on the road (37 years) and I know what you mean...every once in a while it still strikes me and I will think HOW did I get soo blessed? Congratuations to you both! And may the Lord bless you with many, many, more! HUGS

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  22. Oh, wow. That just kind of took my breath away. Thank you for always being a godly example to me. I want to bookmark this page.

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  23. I'm crying! How sweet... God has blessed you both and I pray that he will continue to do so. I'm so glad he didn't let you call off the wedding!
    A big hug to both of you!

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  24. Happy Anniversary Kim. Lovely lovely post. It's always such a joy to see happily married people these days. So many people choose to get divorced so quickly. Very sad. You and your hubby are obviously both blessed to have each other. Hugs.

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  25. Sweetest post ever, Kim. I couldn't agree more with all of your marriage advice :) We also celebrated an anniversary yesterday, 31 years so you are ahead on that one! I think our sons share a Dec. birthday and the same name, too. No wonder I feel such a kinship whenever I come by your blog for a visit. We went out to dinner for our celebration, but specifically made sure we went to a restaurant where we could watch our beloved SF Giants on TV (we don't get TV reception at home). Oh, the things that spell romance to each of us! Happy, happy (belated) anniversary, and may God grant you many more wonderful years together.

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  26. "it won't always be easy, but it will always be worth it"!! best advice ever!!

    34 years in june for us. i am so proud of that!

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