I knew that no matter what that wasn't going to happen, I didn't know why it wasn't but I had a few rules in my own brain.
Do you know the song by Carly Simon called "That's The Way I Always Heard It Should Be." As I looked around what I saw was the words to that song. I didn't want that. I knew that I wanted a marriage that was as full of dreams at the beginning as it was at the end. I wanted a marriage filled with joy, love, friendship, kindness and respect. I wanted a castle where my husband came home from slaying dragons to a place of comfort and rest. I wanted a life filled to the brim with life.
I have a list and it will seem very old fashioned and out dated, but I still think the principles still work. Just so you know, 32 years later as I look back over through the course of our lives, I think I have more than I dreamed.
1. Put God and His Word first, my husband second, my kids third. Everything else comes next.
2. Never have a headache.
3. Marriage is never 50/50 sometimes it is 110/0 either him or me, never expect balance.
4. Tear up the lists. Be as blind now as you were that first day you met him. Remember those things you thought were cute in the beginning.
5. Always, always, strive to put his needs, his wants and his desires before my own. Jeeves really is the perfect wife. Anticipate his needs and try to do it. Without expecting him to notice. ( This is always my goal but I fail more often than not. )
6. Laugh, joke, play, remember how you felt at 17 when you lived for the phone calls.
7. He was my best friend from the first, he continues to be that for me, but it is always work as I let the stress of life creep in and I have to make adjustments. I am always adjusting.
8. It is the small things that give me joy, he brings me coffee in bed, every morning. He fixes my breakfast.
He reminds me to eat when he calls at lunch. He buys me flowers to plant or seeds when he goes out. He makes what ever idea I have no matter if he had something else he wanted to do. He puts me first in everything he does.
9. In 32 years, I haven't missed many mistakes. Not going to bed angry has been the best way to live. Most of the fights we have are so dumb anyway.
10. Just so you know, 32 years ago, I didn't want to get married. I was at our apartment crying my eyes out. We needed to be at the rehearsal. I begged him to not marry me. Lets just live together and if it didn't work we could just walk away. He was so nice," I asked him what kind of sin had he committed that God wanted to punish him for the rest of his life?" I could see the wreck of my life I had made up to that point.
He took my hand pulled me to him, wiped away my tears, laughed and said, " I think you are worth it, and no matter what, I will always love you."
32 years later, six kids richer and with 7 grandchildren over flowing in our laps with more to come. A field still full of dreams, I am so thankful...he married me.
Thanks for reading along, I am still as amazed as anyone can be that it could be this long. Yet it has passed by in a second.