Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Thoughts on Thursday
I have had a hard couple of weeks. Not anything earth shattering,
but the kind of weeks that make me want to run away and never come back.
I am not good at all with confrontation. One of the things I read this week was,
"I believe that a woman's true liberation is obedience to God.
A real woman receives His Word, allows herself to be renewed and remade,
redefined, transformed by the Word."
(From Let Me Be a Woman, cassette series.)
" Let your beauty be...the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible ornament of
a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God."
(1 Peter 3:3,4)
One of the things I am not good at and never will be is giving up on someone. I had got myself
into a situation and I was making myself sick with worry. For 5 years my husband has
asked me to stop a friendship that was going from bad to worse to nightmare. I kept thinking
I could help. Finally I realized I had put my family at risk.
It took me a hour to finally say what had to be said, and I learned that, " I thought more
highly of myself than I ought." It was no big deal to the person involved and I was the
only one upset. I still don't feel normal. I have spent years being sick inside for this persons
Then yesterday, the insurance company that we have done business with for over
25 years decided that the paper work I have used for my kids that are drivers isn't good
enough anymore. All of the arguments that were used in the early years of homeschooling
were used against me. Only now 25 years later I could answer them. I am still debating
turning them over to the HSLDA,( Home School Legal Defense Association). My son
graduates on Friday, never did I dream that I would be having this kind of dialog.
I also read today, "If you believe in a God who controls the big things, you
have to believe in a God who controls the little things. It is we, of course, to whom
things look "little" or "big".
(Let Me Be a Woman, p.18)
All have been blows to my heart. I have struggled to get back to my feet in a sense.
I have looked so hard at my actions, at my choices and of course my relationship
with God. I have learned that I am not as important as I thought. I had chosen to
do a good thing that I thought was for God, but finding out that it was not the best
thing for my family or me.
These things are little things, but to me they were huge. I once again stand back
and realize that God doesn't change but He does expect obedience. So hopefully,
it won't take me five years next time to finally get it.
I am curious though to see how God works it out.
Have a great Thursday.